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06/28/86 Asthma, homesick, raw fish and friends

Saturday, June 28, 1986

I didn't sleep well last night.  My asthma and allergies began acting up.  Probably from the smoke.  The man's name is Decide -- like decided . He says that hash is good because the fire you see while burning your brain cells is exciting.  He is a very strange man.  He makes colleges that explain what he thinks unconsciously.  They tell a story from his head.  I think he is very weird.

Today I am beginning to feel homesick and I am not doing well with French.  They all speak so quickly and I say pardon and they repeat it in English.  It is hard.  There is no one around my age to talk to and I feel very uneasy.  It just might be because I am not feeling well.  It is also very hot.  They have no screens here so there are many bugs everywhere.

 I had raw fish for lunch today.  I had about 3 bites.  Enough to make it look like I ate something.  This is the 3rd meal I haven't eaten.  For dinner last night I had only cucumber and lettuce and for breakfast a small yogurt.  I don't really like the food much.

Tomorrow will be the end of my first week away from home.  I have 9 weeks left.  I sure hope they go quickly.  Also I hope I can pickup some French because right now I'm doing awful.

Today was a real tough day to get through. It did get better though.  After I had raw fish for lunch (gross!) I figured next time they offer it I'd say thanks anyway, but that didn't work.

A few of her friends came over.  They sat around smoking and chatting all afternoon.  I was feeling really blah so I stayed upstairs most of the morning thinking and crying.  It must have helped because I felt well enough to go chat with everybody.  They are definitely different.  When I was staring to have fun they left.  4 kisses, Au Revoir.  And once again we had raw fish for dinner.  I had to eat it because they were all sitting there and I couldn't throw it away.  It was very difficult.

After dinner we played a French card game.  I even understood some of what Decide was saying in French. I suppose it is a beginning.  Once or twice I even answered back in French!

Some day maybe I'll catch on to all of this.  I still can't understand Colette.  When I understand what she is saying I will have accomplished something!

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