During that time Andy has been experiencing some medical problems that have really been tough. We've spent several days in the hospital and many days of recovery and concern. Andy has struggled with getting his body to do what he wants it to. And it's been difficult. After his surgery October 3 this year his dr. put him in a neck brace and basically grounded him. No bending, lifting, twisting. No driving (until after gets off pain meds), no weight lifting, basketball, pickle ball. Only walking. Which is hard with a limp.
Luckily the kids have all been doing pretty well during this time. AJ is busy up at BYU working as a psychologist and dating. He will get his masters degree in May. Dallas and McKayla are busy with Dallas just completing his CDL school and starting driving long haul, Kayla working in the hospital. They had a miscarriage this year and are struggling with the loss but otherwise they are doing good. Bryce and Marlee and up at UVU enjoying their first year of marriage and their sophomore year of college. Katie is very involved in band -- jazz band, pep band, marching band, concert band. She is on the band council and loving it. Holly is doing very well in school and on the ward and community volleyball team.
This past Sunday I was just overwhelmed by all of life. Andy had taken a fall that morning and I was struggling with taking care of all that needs done and worrying about Andy too. After church the bishop asked me to come for a PPI (interview to see how you are basically). I went in and we talked for a few minutes and then he made the mistake of asking me how I was. And I had a meltdown. And cried my eyes out. (Not at all what I planned on!!!)
Poor bishop. He came over and gave me a hug and then asked me to come sit in another chair and gave me a blessing.
Our bishop gives beautiful blessings. And this was no exception. I wish I could have recorded it because I know I won't remember all he said. But I'm going to try.
He blessed me and told me the Lord was happy with the work I have been doing and he is pleased with what I have to offer. He told me I was doing enough. He told me the Lord loved me and that I was very talented and had many things to offer to our ward and our family. He blessed me with peace and comfort. I know there was so much more and I wish I could recall. After the blessing I did feel some of the weight lift from my shoulders and I felt more at peace.
I know that I need to submit myself more to my heavenly father -- pray and let him take charge -- and stop overthinking everything. I need to stop worrying and start enjoying more. I was doing better at enjoying the journey but this added burden kinda felt like it was really heavy and I've been trying to get my balance and can't find it.
But I really want to and need to. I really want to be the happy worry-free person that enjoys what she is doing -- not to say I won't be working and going all the time -- but that I'll be happy about it and not let the to-do list get me down! SO that is my goal and my plan. Pray more, worry less. Enjoy the journey. Life is good. And being down is a waste of time.
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