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08/07/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Shoplifting

Today we went back to the huge store and had lunch.  It wasn't as neat as the first time.  I feel blah after such an exciting week.  I got a package fro home today with recipes and cross-stitch.  I finished the cross-stitch today.  It is really cute.  It has the words bear hugs are in written on it.  I sure need a hug - from someone who cares.  Not anybody here.

It is really cold today.  I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that.  I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation.  It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much.  I just want to be home.  I almost started crying while I was making dinner.  I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts.  I also feel like they don't like me either.  I don't blame them.

Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section.  They took off the tags and Decide walked out of the store with it.  It was 119F ($15) and he just stole it.  They thought it was so funny.  I just turned my head away.  What am I supposed to do? People think I'm like them because I live with them.  It is so wrong.  I didn't want to let myself get upset and I am upset again.  I hate myself for having these feelings.  2 weeks isn't much longer.  I just gotta do it.  Happily. Please.

My French is getting worse not better. If I ever come back here (France) I'm going to study some French first or bring books - this is awful.  I feel so bad because everyone is worrying.  I just want out!  I'm gonna cry now.  Alone again.

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