08/07/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Shoplifting

Today we went back to the huge store and had lunch. It wasn't as neat as the first time. I feel blah after such an exciting week. I got a package fro home today with recipes and cross-stitch. I finished the cross-stitch today. It is really cute. It has the words bear hugs are in written on it. I sure need a hug - from someone who cares. Not anybody here.

It is really cold today. I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that. I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation. It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much. I just want to be home. I almost started crying while I was making dinner. I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts. I also feel like they don't like me either. I don't blame them.

Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section. They took off the tags and Decide walked out of the store with it. It was 119F ($15) and he just stole it. They thought it was so funny. I just turned my head away. What am I supposed to do? People think I'm like them because I live with them. It is so wrong. I didn't want to let myself get upset and I am upset again. I hate myself for having these feelings. 2 weeks isn't much longer. I just gotta do it. Happily. Please.

My French is getting worse not better. If I ever come back here (France) I'm going to study some French first or bring books - this is awful. I feel so bad because everyone is worrying. I just want out! I'm gonna cry now. Alone again.

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