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07/20/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Reflection

3X more - don't know why!  It's awful.

I slept late so we have no chance of going to church.  I'm so mad at myself - I really wanted to go!

Last night I dreamed I had to go home right away and I didn't want to.  When I got home I hated it and wanted to come back.  Weird. Maybe I do like it here.

I called home at 1:30 p.m. here -- about 7:30 a.m. there.  I figured they would be getting ready for church.  I was right.  One minute goes so quickly.  I just said hi and gave my # then it was over.  I didn't even cry!  Amazing.  I guess I'm finally in the routine but I sure wish there was more action!

Went to Jacques Andre Musee today.  It was really nice.  We saw all the room in the restore house except bedrooms.  It was so huge!

On the way home we picked up pastries!  Yum! I am really getting fat!  I was working on my history in the sun laying down and Collette put on the hose. It leaked down the patio and ALL OVER EVERYTHING! except, luckily my finished work!

I've been thinking about things all day - I guess that the house I'm in and the people I've met aren't necessarily the "norm" for France.  I have gotten to know the artists - like the ones you read about - never discovered until they are gone - weird lives - different ideas - outcasts of community. 

Colette's husband was an artist and there is a whole room of art waiting to be discovered.

Decide even said himself that he knew what he was doing was good and different -but he didn't know how to sell himself.  Maybe that is why it is so difficult to be an artist, writer or anything that takes great talent and something to sell.  It is unlikely that under any other circumstances I would have gotten to know them - I mean -- really know them -- their feelings, fears and happiness and be accepted.  They have taught me things about me that I never would have thought of.  And about the world. And people.  Rejection - Acceptance and true love of somethings you do even though noone else seems to like it.

Noone will ever understand what I've experienced and learned unless they also experience and learn in a similar way.

I think people are the same - different practices and customs, but the important stuff - the love - I think no matter where you went you'd find people like them and like me and like anyone else.  It doesn't really matter that they eat lunch and dinner for over an hour each and their toilets flush funny and they don't all wear deodorant or anything else that is different because at heart people are all the same - some good, some bad but all people!  I don't even know if I understand all this but it is true and I'm lad I got to know them and me!

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