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07/29/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Still struggling

I can't believe it's still July.  Every day seems to get slower than the one before it yet they go fast.  Really weird! 

Once again I sat home.  Chapter 25 of history is finished except for one thought question.  I finally go up the nerve to ask about the piano and the priest wasn't there.  Oh well.  At least now she knows I want to play anyway.  We tried calling Tonya but she wasn't home again.  No mail again today. I keep hoping for something.  I haven't written back to everyone that wrote to me because I feel so blah - I don't want them to know it isn't as great as it sounds.

I sure hope Tonya comes and then we go to Normandy.  That will make some time pass quickly.  I really hope something comes thorough with church.  That could make the stay here go really fast but who knows. 

I've been praying every night that something will happen to make this more fun and easier.  I even starting reading the Book of Mormon before I go to sleep once in awhile.  It is more interesting than any of the other books.  I'm trying really hard to finish my history work withing the next two weeks but what if I finish and then have nothing to do - or worse what if I don't finish!  I don't know which is worse!  Either way I'm gonna be upset with myself. 

I sure hope the money system stays the same - I might even be able to come home with $50. I started speaking a little French today.  I mean really saying little sentences and questions and stuff.

Decide says I have a very pretty accent and I should speak more often.  I don't know.

Homesickness was more mild today then in a long time.  I feel sad about my appearance.  I've gained close to 10 lb already.  Somehow I've got to stop eating or I'll be unhappy forever.  My pants are even starting to feel tight.  My stomach is bloated.  It isn't flat anymore!  I hate me!

Bon Soir Bon Nuit Dormi Bien

**After I wrote this we watched a super French movie that was partially in English.  then Decide sang while I played the tiny organ. It was really fun.  Tomorrow we have to do the dishes in the morning.  Also Decide is leaving until maybe 15 days or less.  That means more possible boredom.  Of course Colette and I have been getting along better and she likes some of the things I have cooked recently.

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