Griffin Family

Tonya Loreman 226 7th Street Marietta OH 45750 Friend from AFS W.E. 'Mar' McCachern PO BOX 490 Gainesville FL 32602 Met on airplane ride home Kevin Stevens 6148 North Moody Chicago IL 60646 Orientation AFS friend Samantha Lenox 8986 Blue Jacket Apt 1408 Overland Park KS 66214 Orientation AFS friend Stephanie Ray 1420 Bridge St Ashtabula OH 44004 Nukhet Tuncel 18 Wildwood Drive Lynnfield MA 01940

I saw everybody at church. It feels good to be back. I am still suffering jet lag.  Slept for 3 hours after church. I rearranged my room and went out with Rob and 8 other people to a movie.  It reminded me of bad experiences in France.  I hated it . It was Born American. This will be my last entry in the this book.  Right now I am happy to be back and inside I have bad feelings about France. Good night.

Finally slept until 10:30 but I'm still not caught up.  I tried to do my history today but could not concentrate.  I went and saw Linda today.  She is going to call when Joe gives her his new address.  There was supposed to be a swim party for church but only a few families showed. We ate dinner and then Rob and i went to a party of a friend of his.  It was fun.  We sat around talking with the family. I'm still not over jet lag. Oh well. Goodnight

Sent 12 rolls of film off to be developed. Senior pictures were today and I know they are awful.  My eyes were bloodshot and I felt gross.  oh well. Charlene and I went together and afterwards talked for 1.5 hours. After lunch everybody went shopping.  All day we were in the mall. I made crepes for the family and they really liked them. Rob and I went to see Karate kid II. I asked him. We went and each paid our own.  Afterward we talked about our feelings. We never finished because when we got to his house Jamie, Mike Fanelli and Mike Tabasco were there. It was late anyway. I started to explain the bad parts of this summer - the emotional stress and pain.  It felt good to let it out but I still need to talk more.  I feel relieved in a way. I am still very exhausted - of course once again it is after 12.  Maybe someday I'll catch up on my sleep? Good Night!

The whole mutual group came over and took me and Tammy out for breakfast.  It was so neat.  we went to Denny's.  Tammy spent the afternoon running around with me and my mom.  I stopped in at Taco bell - no thrill - got shoes and went to the dr. I am now on an inhaler for my asthma.  I don't know exactly what jet lag is but I think I got it. I got my hair chopped and went to band and then Mike Tabascos house until 11.  I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight! Tomorrow is my senior picture and my face is still broken out. It is so gross! Mom talked to me until 12 about all the troubles here this summer.  I don't know if she needed to talk or if she just thought I should know or if maybe it was a little of both. It is good that she can sit and talk with me. Some people don't have that kind of relationship with their family or mom.  I feel numb again about my trip. Everybody asks how it was and I don't know what to say. It was awful an...

Day 66 Once again I find myself sitting on a plane between Tonya and Samantha.  There is a guy from Florida who we have been talking with.  He came in from Russia and England . he took our pictures and said he'd send them to us. He is really talkative. Kind of funny I guess. I am so relieved to be going home finally!  It is sad saying goodbye to all the friends I've spent the last 2 days with. I haven't slept in almost 3 nights because of my stupid asthma.  It is totally miserable.  Even now my eyes are all blood shot and I still have a whole 6 hours extra when we get home.  We arrive 2hr after we left - it is an 8H45M ride.  We flew over England and Ireland and are coming in over Boston and New York.  It is the longer of the ways to go home. The guy from Florida gave us money from Russia.  It is neat. The $ bill is the size of monopoly money. I feel all talked out and it is hard to write. Continue later! Customs was really easy - not ...

Day 65 Orientation has been really fun.  We had a meeting in the morning and I realize I should have called for a change in my placement. The things I experienced weren't normal. We all talked about our summers and learned more about each other. We ran to the store in the middle of the afternoon and then pigged out. No wonder we all gained weight! At least that party of my summer was normal (great!!!) We played UNO and spoons and talked all evening.  Everybody seems ready to go home.  I know I am. I dread telling people about my summer.  I don't know what I will say. Bon Soir!

Day 64 I am so glad to finally be gone. This morning was really easy.  Got showered and ate and at 11 we left.  I was scared coming to Montparnasse because Colette was driving like a maniac again.  We arrived and parked and carted luggage forever.  We found AFS and parked the luggage and then went for lunch. When we said goodbye it was so fake - more like a relief for both of us than anything. Today has been slow. We are all grouped and waited for the bus then waited for our rooms then waited for orientation. Everybody is beat. It should go faster but even if it doesn't I am juts so happy to be away from Colette. Tonya and I are in the same group. That's good! Dinner was fun!  I sat with Tonya and Samantha. Everybody has been sitting around chatting about their summer. I feel cheated because everybody else had help with French.  Some people had as hard a time staying as I did too.  Fred said I could call him and had my house changed bu...

I can't believe how screwed up my emotions are.  I am always on the verge of tears.  I still have 24 hours to kill here and then another 30-36 at orientation.  I just want to go home. I organized all my things and packed all my hanging clothes except what I'm gonna wear until Wednesday.  I have only 1F so I hope I don't need money before I get home.  I am hoping to get all my things into 2 bags but I don't know if it is possible.  I still have loads of history to do but I need other books to finish. Things between Colette and I are tense but ok.  I think she realizes I don't really like her and I don't think she likes me much although we have been holding small conversations today and we are going to a movie.  I want to go home so bad I could just pop.  I think that is why I'm so emotional.  I'm glad I got to spend time with the Dulys. My French improved lots.  2 people asked me questions at the train station and I understood ...

Left L'aigle this morning at 8:15.  Everybody was real exhausted from last night but we managed.  We stayed together until lunch at Burger King at around 1.  Then we all split up until 5:30. Good thing because everyone was really irritable and no one could decide what to do. Tonya and I wondered around Paris and I bought a sweatshirt and she got a statue. After we bought a big bag of cookies and coke and we fed the pigeons for an hour. Everyone met up and we set off for the train.  It was so insane it was almost funny.  Nobody could figure out where to go.  We finally figured it out and we all said Au Revoir 4 kisses and went our separate ways. I made it back ok and Colette picked me up. Tonya called around 9:30 to make sure I was back and we figured out I was at the other station than her.  I burst out into tears and have been crying every since. Colette doesn't understand.  She keeps saying she isn't dead you know but Tonya is my o...

I have a hard time remembering today.  It went rather quickly but not with much excitement.  We had company for lunch and the children are staying over until tomorrow night.  I drove Francois car again.  Very difficult to shift because the shifter is in the front panel by the steering wheel. We said goodbye to the grandparents and made spaghetti for dinner. Accidentally overcooked the noodles so it wasn't very good.  Oh well. After dinner we went to a bar and sat there and played games (video, pinball) until almost 4 a.m. I am exhausted.  Pierre is a real flirt and Francois thinks I have beautiful eyes. This is nice to hear. Tomorrow we are going to Paris and then I return to Colette's house.  I am too tired to write more. Good night.

Today was the slowest day I've had in a few weeks.  Even the weather seemed to be cold and dreary and slow.  We went to the farm only until after lunch. We walked up to the store and Tonya bought an Indochime tape (Music group) We made choco-chip cookies then I took a nap.  I was so tired and yucky feeling. I was freezing until my nap.  I had goosebumps all day.  It was awful. My stomach was messed up again today. Around 8 I woke up and we got dinner on the table.  Francois is in a bad mood today or something - he didn't talk to us at all.  He made a point of ignoring us.  It was awful.  I gotta figure out what's wrong with him. Pierre was being more outgoing and wild tonight - I guess since Francois was quiet. They decided we are all going to Paris on Saturday and I'll go back to Colettes that evening by train.  Should be fun.  My feelings at this point are that I don't want everybody to know all the details of my summer ...

Day 59 Today went so quickly that if I would have blinked I would have missed it. We went to the farm and there were a bunch of Francois friends there. A couple were from Quebec and spoke English. Before lunch Tonya and I fed all the animals and gathered the eggs and then got a bucket of potatoes. The guys came by riding their little race car and on the way back I jumped on for a short ride. After lunch we all went together in the car to pick a bad full of potatoes. We drove through the dirt roads really crazy then had potato fights and dirt fights.  I was so dirty that when you touched me anywhere dirt and dust flew.  Then we had a massive water fight. I started it. I threw a glass of water at Francois and I ended up wet from head to toe- dripping wet!  After I changed my shirt we went out and I hot a gun.  I shot only 3X.  I did ok, not great. We had 12 people for dinner tonight. At 11:30 we walked down to a disco in town.  It was cool. ...

Went to town to the huge market.  It was really cool.  In the streets for blocks was all kinds of stands with live stock, food, clothes, junk etc. We walked around for a couple of hours in the rain.  I bought a few things.  We came back and ate lunch at the house then wrote out music and recipes. Everybody came back from the farm early and then guys got their haircut.  And then their pictures taken.  We stopped at a bar for a little while and came home and sat around. They had company for a little while. After dinner (We had shrimp - it's ok) Francois took me for a ride in his little car.  It is so cool.  It has one seat for 2 people and 3 wheels.  We went around the little development here 2X. We got in trouble last night for being up so late so we are going to bed early.  It is 12 almost.  I decided not to call home because I'm gonna make it.  I really enjoyed being here.  I miss not getting mail but it is easi...

Today we didn't spend much time at the farm.  We fed the animals and took some pictures and ate and by 3 p.m. we left. We welked into L'aigle and mailed some letters and walked around for about an hour and a half.  Afterwards we learned how to make crepes.  They were really good. We stayed up until 1:30 tonight laughing and talking.  I am really tired! We were throwing cigarettes around and trying to get them in Francois and Pierre's mouths.  It was so funny. I tried escargots (snail) tonight.  They are really good! I tried to call home and tell everybody not to worry but no one was home.  I might try again tomorrow. Sometimes I really want to go home and others it is okay. My French is going down hill.  I think it is because I am too tired to think.  I miss things and people so much and then I don't.  Sometimes I feel like I could stay forever and others I don't think I can make it through the day. My feelings are so confu...

Another great day!  We stayed up until 5:30 last night and then got up this morning at 9:30.  We went to the farm.  Only thing we did was care for the rabbits.  The rest of the day we spent basically doing nothing.  I was a little upset because I had to go back to Colettes tomorrow but Babbette made that good. I don't have to go back until Thursday or Saturday.  That is so good.  We ate dinner out tonight because the family that  has been here since I arrived were leaving today and it was taking forever for them to go so to avoid them we ate out. Unfortunately they were still here when we got back at 8 p.m.  Shortly after they left.  Babette pulled out here electric organ which is nice and big and we played with it for more than an hour. The guys came home and Francois, Pierre, Tonya and I played uno and then watched the lightening storm.  Really fun. We are going to sleep a little earlier tonight - 3 a.m.  We should be...

Day 55 Ca va Didin't go to the farm today.  Instead went into town and shopped for special American Dinner! We spent all afternoon making chocolate chip cookies and hamburgers.  Almost everybody liked them. The hamburgers were huge.  They had pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup and buns with the meat. I didn't eat all of mine. After dinner we walked around and talked outside and then played games.  We waited up until 12 or so for the guys to come back from the farm and then we served them dinner. Francois and Tonya and I stayed up until 4 a.m. learning and speaking in French and English.  It was so fun. I learned all kind of neat little sayings. Je vais ma coucher - I am going to bed. Cher embillement an archique de cellules gerbatives en putre faction - means something like deal pile of cells of vomiting puss Je suis desole - I am sorry Taisez - vous - Be quiet!  Tais toi also means be quiet Allez and Vas-y means to ...

Ca Va? Stayed up until 3 last night so getting up this morning was a challenge.  We went to the farm around 12 today so we didn't feed all the animals. Someone else did. We played with the kittens in the sunshine until lunch.  Chicken from the farm.  It was so good! After lunch we just walked around until almost 5.  Then we dug potatoes - new experience!  And took bunches of hay and stacked them in rows in piles of 2 /\ /\ /\ We did that for almost 3 hours.  My asthma was set off - I guess by the hay or maybe the dust - but it is awful - I haven't been this sick since I was at Grandma's house and everybody could hear me over the sewing machine - that time I went to the hospital - yuck.  I'm in France - I don't want an Hopital!  I wouldn't understand anything!  I took a double dose of medicine and I sure hope it helps.  Soon! I really love it here.  This place is so great!  Babett - the mom - speaks real slow for me and...

Day 53 Ca Va I can't believe how great life can be . I realize now that there are normal French homes.  I love this family.  Today we got up and drove to their farm.  Tonya and I fed the mouton (sheep) and the lapin (rabits) and headed the chicken outside and held the baby chicks and gathered eggs. After our lunch of muscles we got a treat of riding moussonreuse-batteuse (combine) around the wheat field for about 1/2 hour. We walked back up to the house and got buckets and filled 2 up with peas.  Then for 3 hours the 5 of us sat around and shelled the peas.  It was so great.  They talked really slowing and helped lots with my French!  I am having so much fun.  We've stayed up until after 2 talking the second night now. Francois and Tonya and I sat in the kitchen from 11 - 1 just talking and laughing in English and French.  It is so neat to have a real family. He thinks (they all think) Colette and that situation is totally crazy and...

Ca Va! After my much needed shower this morning Colette called Tony'a host and arranged for me to come here.  The ride here took an hour and a half. When we got to L'Aigle we had some difficulty find the house (Colette spazzed out again) but around 5:30 Tonya was found and by 7 they arranged for me to stay here until Monday around 12.  Not sure of plans for going back yet. This family is so neat! It is just like home.  They are maknig me speak French - I do Ok.  We made croque - madame and monsiers - for dinner.  5 girls throwing ham and cheese and pineapples and buttering bread and laughing.  It was great. Then 9 of us sat down to eat.  The 3 guys came home late. We all sat around the computer and printed out different sayings. It is 12:30 now.  This is the best day I've had since I last saw Tonya!  I sure wish I lived in a family like this with kids and togetherness etc!  It is so much like my house! L'Aigle is really nice...

Got up around 9 and ate and dressed quickly.  Then I went on another shopping excursion. I found some mugs that say bonjour for 11F50 so I bouth 6 . Also some candies for inside.  I still want to get 3 cidre and fomage and t-shirts or something for Becky and Ruth.  I'll see how much I have left after that for whoever else.  It is so difficult to get something for everybody cause you always forget somebody! We ate lunch at a real neat restaurant.  We had salad and ice cream again.  Very good. Colette is becoming quite a thief - a petty thief.  She stole bread and the menu. After Liseux - that's where we went today - we went shopping and she ate stuff through the store and never paid for them.  I can't believe it. Liseux is realyl neat.  I would love to spend time there just shopping.  it is so nice.  We took a train ride and saw all the main points - St Anne's home, cathedral, etc.  Very neat. I enjoyed today lots. I...

Ca Va! Really enjoy staying here.  Everybody is so much more pleasant.  Armand is the sweetest kindest most giving person I have met.  She would give her shirt and shoes and everything for anybody else.  Colette is less of a spazz although when she drives she is still stupid but Armand always watches out for our safety with "Attend!" (Attention)  We (Armand and I) ate breakfast together and then I dressed and ran to the post office. I walked around through the shops but the ones I wanted to go to were closed so I came back.  Before lunch we walked around a bit and fed the sea gulls then ate a rather short lunch.  Only an hour.  We were going to go to Liseaux butthe weather got nice so we went to Deauville and that's the nice beach.  It was a little chilly for swimming so I just laid in the sand.  Then we walked the boards (no stores but 1 here and there- we came home and made dinner. It was so relaxing and nice here.  I am sti...

Ca va! I am really enjoying being here in Honfleur.  Everything seems to go quicker and smoother and Colette doesn't flip out! This morning I went for a 1.5 mi walk shopping for gifts for when I go home.  I found a cute little picture frame with a saying on it in French on how to make a good day . It was 60F.  I really like it. There is a place down the street to get cidre for 3F50.  I want to get 3 or 4 bottles but I'm afraid they'll be too heavy to carry home. After my shopping excursion we went for lunch at AuOars Normand.  We ate lunch for 2 hours.  It was 435 F which is close to $70! I ate poisson du filet with Normandie sauce. It was great.  Also vegetables and french fries and apple cider and an apple tart.  No I am not losing weight this way - just passing time. After pigging out we went to the beach and exposed our flab!  Colette changed clothes right on the beach.  not me.  I found a scummy smelly toilet room an...

Ca Va! The day passed rather quickly.  Tony'as host mother called this morning and talked with Colette.  They worked it out so that I can stay with them for a few days. An answer to my prayers once again. We traveled to Honfleur today after lunch.  We ate dinner at the same place we always eat when we are here.  It was nice.  We also had drinks at a cafe before.  I am really tired but relieved to know I will kill a few days at Tonyas.  I'm not sure how long we are here or how long I'll stay at Tonya's but it feels good to be away. I have got to work on not eating as much.  My pants are so tight!  I did pretty good today.  I ate less at the restaurant then last time.  It was so hard because they eat so slow!  I enjoy eating and running. I don't know what to bring back for everyone.  It is so difficult.  And who do I bring back for? I cashed my don't touch unless emergency $50 today for my trip back from L'Aigle. ...

Ca Va, pas! Today the people from church called.  I probably can have a ride only this Sunday we'll be in Honfleur.  I am so upset I'm going crazy.  They think I'm rude here because I don't smile all the time and get thrills from posting pictures together or stealing things.  I don't understand why I was sent here.  What did I do that was so wrong.  I want to go home so bad but I know I'd never forgive myself if I did. Only 18 more days.  The sad part is that I know there must be some nice normal French people somewhere.  I'm getting an awful feeling for the French people as a whole. Finished reading my English books today. I feel awful because the more I get to know them the more I dislike them.  It is so awful living with someone you don't care about what happens to them. Tonya called.  I burst out in tears again.  She said her host mom says I can come stay for 4 days or whatever.  Only thing we gotta work out is Colet...

Today we went back to the huge store and had lunch.  It wasn't as neat as the first time.  I feel blah after such an exciting week.  I got a package fro home today with recipes and cross-stitch.  I finished the cross-stitch today.  It is really cute.  It has the words bear hugs are in written on it.  I sure need a hug - from someone who cares.  Not anybody here. It is really cold today.  I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that.  I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation.  It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much.  I just want to be home.  I almost started crying while I was making dinner.  I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts.  I also feel like they don't like me either.  I don't blame them. Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section. ...

I feel like I have jet lag again - I am exhausted!  I had such a great day.  I ventured on my own again into Paris and by a small miracle Tonya and I caught up with each other.  Then we walked and walked and walked - right pas the Louvre!  Way past LeLouvre! We sat down on some church steps and ate our bag lunches and then started back tracking. Decide saw us and that is amazing!  In all of Paris and we run into each other.  He drank some coke with us while we walked the many blocks back.  Then we went in and he went elsewhere.  It is so big!  We took 1 1/2 hour guided tour and saw all the famous stuff then wandered around for another 1 1/2 hour through the rooms.  It was hot.  And so crowded.  I really enjoyed it though.  After we walked to Notre Dame Cathedral and walked through we were so tired and a long way from the metro. We finally found the metro and had the wrong tickets.  After awhile we finally got sq...

Today we went to Versaille.  It was really nice.  We went through the huge Chateau and gardens.  Tonya and I talked the whole time.  It was really fun.  After we brought up her coming here and Colette and her discussed everything and I thought it was settled but I guess Colette didn't like whatever they discussed because when we got home she flipped out - she was the one that said about driving to L'Aigle and then she asks me why we have to go there.  no sense.  I would never have asked her to drive there and she flips out after SHE makes the suggestion herself.  i don't understand her at all.  She ruined my whole day.  She was so nasty when she asked me about her coming.  I don't even know what they said So I couldn't defend anything. Tomorrow I am meeting Tonya in Paris at 11 and we are going to LeLouvre! Neat, huh?!  I don't know if Tonya will come or not.  I guess I'll wait and see what happens. I got a letter from...

I ventured out on my own again!  This time I met Tonya in Paris.  These 2 older guys bought us a drink (coca-cola) and we talked with them until they went back to work.  I got to Paris at one.  3 train transfers!  Luck let me find Tonya in the HUGE station!  I am really enjoying figuring out the system.  Although it is expensive.  I spent my first $100 today which is right on schedule as today was the scheduled day to change my last $50.  (only the banks are closed) I may go to Versaille sometime this week and Friday Tonya might come here.  I don't know. After we got rid of those guys we went to McDonald's and walked all around Paris.  We went to LeLouvre and all sorts of neat things.  It was so great just to be out! We got some chocolate and I was in HEAVEN! Then we played some more games with the trains and found our way back.  It was so wonderful. She wants to go to LeLouvre Wednesday and Versaille Thursday bu...

I certainly had an exciting, tiring long day!  I finally made it to church.  It was really difficult to get there! It also takes almost and hour and half with car, train, bus and metro transfers!  Colette drove me to Charles de Galle (train station) at 11:30 and at 11:45 I caught the train to Chatlet Les Halles where I met the missionaries.  They were very nice.  Drake is from Utah and has only 2 weeks left.  Tran is from Colorado and has 13 months left.  He was more talkative of the two.  The third was a mini-mission French dude who I really didn't talk to. Ater I met them we went to Gare du Nord then caught another train to Nogent then a bus to somewhere else and finally we walked 4-5 blocks to the church.  We arrived about 1 p.m. Church is at 2 p.m.  I played piano for 20 minutes then talked to the sister missionaries and Elder Tran.  I don't reeber their names but they were from California and Montana. Church was interesting...

I got up and started making my breakfast when Colette came in and game me a necklace that says AFS.  (AFS is the name of the program that I came to France with) It is really nice.  I was surprised. (pleasantly!)  We went shopping and I think we are back to old Saturday nothing.  She said if I got the address of the church she would go with me.  I'll wait until 9 tonight and then call.  I really want to go.  Collette doesn't like Isabel but she said I could call her if I wanted to do something.  I don't think Isabell likes Colette either.  I wonder if Colette doesn't like me.  Oh well, doesn't matter anyway! It is chilly today.  I think I'l put on a sweatshirt and go read outside. I didn't sleep good last night and now I'm exhausted!  I'll continue writing later. My sweatshirt turned into a bathing suit and I roasted in the hot sun until 6 p.m. Colette and I then walked down to the farm and got eggs, milk and cottage che...

Day 40 Yes, I really  made it to Aout! A month and two weeks has just slipped past me.  I've been reading some of the things I wrote and it is wierd how changeable my feelings are.  One minute I like it, the next I don't!  It is true that I have enjoyed this week even though not much has been happening. Perhaps I just have to play mind games with myself and make myself enjoy this, ya know?  We went to Jerome's house and I played ping pone (he won of course) then looked at a book and he gave me some stamps while we listened to music.  It was fun.  It is probably the last I will see him.  In 4 days he leaves.  I even explained something in French and he understood.  It is kind of like a puzzle figuring out how to say things in French.  Sometimes it is fun to play with the puzzle and other times I just want to put it away.  I have also continued to get along with Colette.  It is nice.  Today is the day I told chur...

Ca Va? Oui, Ca Va! Now it really is the last day of July!  Pretty good day too. After breakfast I vacuumed and started some history.  Colette said we were going to a store and out to lunch -- so I grabbed my purse and figured we'd be back by 2.  Well - the store was great!  Like America or something! I loved it!  Automatic doors and huge isles.  We ate in the cafeteria.  It had a squiggly line to the cafeteria like and amusement park.  Colette was totally lots!  I laughed!  They don't usually have those here.  She couldn't believe they had paper napkins!  So for 3 hours I felt like I was at home and Colette felt out of place.  After we went to see her pony.  Spent a couple hours.  The pony is really pretty.  No major upsets or happenings as of yet.  Just a really nice day.  Colette and I have even been talking a bit.  I came home and wrote Simkins and Rob.  I love Mrs S letters....

NO THIS ISN'T This is it! The last day of July - I am making it! Today was pretty good. We didn't do much. Got up around 10 and put away all the dishes from last night.  Ate.  Took a batch.  Ate.  Then I cleaned my bedroom real good.  Dusted, Vacuumed under the bed and all the shelves. It was gross! Decide and I went for about 1.5 hours through the country side and picked wild flowers. We didn't really talk much.  I guess we were both just thinking.  Then I laid out in the sun for an hour.  Decide left at 5.  Next time he comes we will go to Honfleur.  I can't wait! I got a letter from Tammy and Jamie. Really cool! Silly chick didn't even tell me about Utah! I met 2 girls that are my age that live near here.  Don't you know one of them is leaving for nice tomorrow morning!  I have been praying so hard for something.  I have decided to set goals for this next month. 1 - Make it through this summer and ENJOY i...

I can't believe it's still July.  Every day seems to get slower than the one before it yet they go fast.  Really weird!  Once again I sat home.  Chapter 25 of history is finished except for one thought question.  I finally go up the nerve to ask about the piano and the priest wasn't there.  Oh well.  At least now she knows I want to play anyway.  We tried calling Tonya but she wasn't home again.  No mail again today. I keep hoping for something.  I haven't written back to everyone that wrote to me because I feel so blah - I don't want them to know it isn't as great as it sounds. I sure hope Tonya comes and then we go to Normandy.  That will make some time pass quickly.  I really hope something comes thorough with church.  That could make the stay here go really fast but who knows.  I've been praying every night that something will happen to make this more fun and easier.  I even starting reading the Book of...

I stayed up until 2 a.m. or later translating things to say when I called the church office. I had a ral hard time getting to sleep.  At 6:30 a.m. Doug called just to say hi and see how I was and tell me he loved me and everybody else also loved me and missed me. Colette was a little upset but it made me feel good.  I didn't wake up until 11.  Today I've been feeling a little better.  I tried calling 2X to the church but no answer.  Tomorrow we are leaving for Holland/Belguim unless it storms.  I don't know if we're going somewhere today.  It is 3.  Also very warm and sunny and nice.  I can't think because it makes me want to cry and be home.  I can't concentrate on my history.  I've been trying but my mind keeps wondering to hoe and Joe and Rob and everybody at home. Decide said time was just something you passed in one place or another.  Right now he says I'm playing with time and that I'm here but I'm also very...

Today I got up and ate at 9:30.  Colette told me she was going to church so I hurried in a little less than 20 minutes.  I hurried down the stairs just in time to see Colette leave.  Once again, no chruch.  I could just cry.  I got Beccas letter and it said all about everything at church and I want to go so bad.  Why is this so hard? I am so upset.  I keep eating and eating and I'm going ruin everything.  I worked so hard to lose weight and being here is making me fat.  I'm going to forget how to play piano and flut and I'm never gonna be able to stand and march for 3 hours.  I WANT TO GO HOME!!!Why is this so hard? Why? It as supposed to be fun wasn't it?No - just 'the experience of a lifetime'.  I guess it is definately that.  I hope I never have to do anything like this again.  it wouldn't be so bad with friends.  I'd probably be really great. I did cry, for over an hour. I walked through the country crying....

Je t'aime moi non plus!  That means I love you, me I don't.  Great, huh? I'm gonna say it when I'm confused or when I love something and I hate it - like this trip!  I had a real nice day. Decide and I sat around after breakfast and lunch singing songs from the album Je t'aime noi non plus into the tape recorder.  Mostly love for sale. Then Colette drove us to Chantilly and we all walked around until 8:00.  Now we'll wait until about 10 for chicken.  We talked a lot about love today.  Also French men.  He says frenchmen are becoming more feminine and creative.  He said he loves everything and is in love with different people in different ways.  Also he says that the French religion is literature, art and music.  French people hate American TV & Reagan and they love American movies. Decide says I should take longs walks through the country and find a friend and go and discovery Paris.  I think it would be fun but I'm a...

I think this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life.  Leaving everything that I really loved for something I had no idea what it would be like.  I think before I left I was one of the happiest people in the world.  Everything was going my way.  I'm not totally unhappy now but I miss not being totally happy.  I miss not being about to get up early and see my friends.  I miss working and marching and driving and freedom and talking and understanding and Joe.  Especially Joe.  Even though I wouldn't have him even if I was home. I am feeling sort of locked up inside myself.  I'm becoming a book work again.  Escaping reality by constant studying.  I think it is good because I do have lots of work to do but bad because I'm withdrawing from life.  It is so hard not to be able to explain what you want or need or anything and not being able to understand what others expect of you.  I think the next month will be mo...

Went to the post office again today.  Another 17 F.  I've sent almost $20 in mail and it is only half over on Saturday!  All my pens are going bad and my pencils are dull. We took a ride today to see her friend and she wasn't there.  On the way back Colette totally flipped out at everything - including me! I wanted to go home so bad.  I still do.  But Tonya called and I feel a little better.  I talked with Colette and I still don't know when we are going to Holland but I found out we are going back to Honfleur! Yea!  And on the way back we can pick up Tonya and she can stay here for a couple of days.  Super cool! I love Honfleur and I really want to see Tonya! I was looking at all the dates and although we will spend some time traveling there is still a lot of time for bad weeks like this one!  Maybe Julien will come back in between our trips.  I sure hope someone does. Anyone! Please! Bonsoir Bon Nuit Dormi Bien

I did absolutely nothig today.  Well - ok, a little.  I finished up some history and started the second half of chapter 24. No mail today.  I guess 4 letters yesterday, what do I expect? I don't know. I sat in the sun all day and thought about things.  Especially Joe.  I really love him I think but we are so different.  I'm not sure he would want the kind of life I want.  I have to wonder if I really know what I want.  I want a temple marriage and lots of kids in a happy loving home.  It doesn't matter how big the house is just so there is love and happiness. Forever! Bonsoir BonNuit Dorm Bien

I didn't go anywhere but shopping today.  I didn't want to. As I was eating Collete handed me 3 letters.  I was so happy!  One from Grams and Gramps, Rob and Linda. Well I opened Linda's first because I knew what the others said.  Inside Lindas was a note from Joe.  Before I read Linda's I opened Joes. It was real short but it said everything I needed to hear.  I cried all day today. He said he loves me - I love him too.  I think I have been trying to ignore my feelings but I can't.  I really love him.  Of course we couldn't ever have a life together unless he cahnged but maybe that is possible.  I wrote him back that I love him and perhaps if some things changed we could be together again. Also filled him in on life here. I also wrote Rob that he should forget me -  I can't keep pretending - not pretending but I can never love him the way I love Joe. I think he'll be upset but I have to get all this straightened out before I...

Got a letter from Terry! I enjoyed it! Made me think of all the fun we had before I left.  I miss her! And Tammy! We went to see the Vaux Le Vicomte - a big castle with beautiful gardens and an equestrial garage.  Really nice.  It was 32 F and we spent the entire day there.  All the ceilings had picture/paintings and all the walls - I would LOVE to live there - this is the first castle I've liked!  It belonged to Napolean or Luis XVI -- I forget!  I'll look later!  It was beautiful though! And the ladies dresses were long and full.  I love them!  I wish they were still in fashion now! Everyone thinks my manners and the way I carry myself are very proper - they say pink is definately like me.  It's kind of funny and nice.  The priest calls me a jaunty jeual?  -- pretty young girl -- every time I see him.  It's nice! I really have been feeling lousy!  I can't shake whatever it is - it is milder now - today anywa...

3X more - don't know why!  It's awful. I slept late so we have no chance of going to church.  I'm so mad at myself - I really wanted to go! Last night I dreamed I had to go home right away and I didn't want to.  When I got home I hated it and wanted to come back.  Weird. Maybe I do like it here. I called home at 1:30 p.m. here -- about 7:30 a.m. there.  I figured they would be getting ready for church.  I was right.  One minute goes so quickly.  I just said hi and gave my # then it was over.  I didn't even cry!  Amazing.  I guess I'm finally in the routine but I sure wish there was more action! Went to Jacques Andre Musee today.  It was really nice.  We saw all the room in the restore house except bedrooms.  It was so huge! On the way home we picked up pastries!  Yum! I am really getting fat!  I was working on my history in the sun laying down and Collette put on the hose. It leaked down the patio ...

My stomach is feeling better.  I was sick only 2X more during the night.  Of course how could I get sick - nothing else left in my belly to get rid of! It is so stupid to get up early here.  They stay up until 11 or 12 or 1 and then stay in bed until 10 or later.  I have the hardest time sitting around watching TV I don't understand so I either sleep 10 to 10 or else get up early and have to be real quiet and wait until Collette gets up to take my bath.  Yuk either way!  I miss camp! Today we went to see Pierrefond Le Chateau.  A huge castle.  It was okay.  I wouldn't want to live in any castles I've seen here though - HUGE PLAIN and COLD.  YUK! I am still getting sick.  3X more today.  Just a few minutes ago.  Gross! I'm not sure what from.  Oh well.  College wants me to go to the dr's.  She doesn't even know I've been getting sick - she thinks I've got a cold and asthma! Today was pretty good....

I spent most of the day sleeping.  In the morning we went to the post office and took that guy (Claude) to a place for a job.  He didn't get it.  I skipped lunch because my stomach was upset.  I got sick only 2X.  My head has been pounding and I get dizzy if I stand up too quickly.  I went down to the telephone and tried to call mom only it doesn't take 10F pieces so I didn't have enough.  I guess I really shouldn't call anyway.  I'll want to go home. After my short walk my asthma started up - figures huh?  For diner I had a peach and mashed potatoes (boxed kind).  I think I may turn in early so I can feel better tomorrow. Colette is trying to help me learn french.  She says things in French and if I don't get it she say it in English...slowly even!  I'm really gonna try to get this.  I sure wish mom would send my books and some recipes though.  Next Saturday this is half over - weird!  I don't think this dia...

Relaxed day today.  It was really nice and sunny so I sat on the patio and read after lunch until 3 p.m. It was really nice.  We went to Jeromes and they talked until 6:30.  I was so bored.  I enjoyed reading much more.  We went to the grocery store and tried some other things trying to find cottage cheese.  Getting closer - I now have ricotta cheese - I like it the same as cottage cheese is ok. I think Colette is getting frustrated because my French is so bad.  I would probably do ok but I can't stand trying to talk with her.  She mumbles and talks real fast - I get SO FRUSTRATED - so instead I ignore her. I was listening to them talk for a little while and I understood lots of it - I was surprised.  Then I got frustrated so I started day dreaming.  I really am confused about things.  I can't believe it's almost a month already!  Some days go so quickly and others... I really want to play piano.  I'm going to read a...

I really miss those guys! They made everything so exciting - something different all the time and good food too! Now I'm back to hamburgers! Yuk. I met another of Colett's friends today.  She had a neighbor who was 25.  Once again within 10 minutes of talking he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend here or at home etc.  What is it with these guys? He wasn't even French!  He was from Pakastan.  He was nice but a little too much -- know it all.  I will see him again Friday- Yuk! Tomorrow we aren't going to Paris - too hot.  Instead we are going to Jeromes. I don't remember if I wrote this in here before but I do the dishes everyday.  It isn't so bad though because it is usually only 2 or 3 or us. I found a piano today.  It is only 2.5 miles away.  It is in a nursing home where we went to church.  Unfortunately I had no music but Collette said we can go back sometime.  The father is really nice.  He says I am welcome t...

I finally woke up at 12:45 -- wooh - late!  Today was kind of laid back and nice.  We went for another walk today.  We walked through the wheat field, smelled stuff, ate wild fruits, had an apple fight, lounged out in a cow field and headed back.  We got home around 6 p.m. Jillian and I talked again in Decide's room for another hour or so.  He is very nice and I'm really shocked at how polite they are to the kind of life they live. Jullian is 23 and has no home.  He just lives in empty homes with friends (squatter) and steals what he needs.  How can he do that and be such a kind and gentle polite person? We te dinner around 9 until 10 then everybody packed up and we rode to the train station.  I am so upset. I really like them.  They are so different.  After our walk they were hot so they all stripped naked and went in the sprinkler.  Then they sat around drinking for awhile.  So weird! I kissed them all good bye and th...

I spent most of today trying to recuperate from last night!  My allergies are real bad again. For diner we had a real neat platter.  In the center of the table was a plate with sausage type meat, tomatoes and leave.  Everybody had a knife and fork and took what they wanted.  Bread was on the side. Tonight is also national fest but I don't know what is going on yet.  They may all leave me here.  I don't know. If they do I'll go to the village party alone.  I know a few guys. Nobody left.  They waited for midnight to eat and then sat around outside singing and talking until 2:30 a.m. Two more guys came to stay over.  Julian, Cami's brother and Etienne.  Julienne and I talked for an hour.  He hates government and religion so it was interesting!  He was also kaing his moves. I don't know what it is with these French guys.  He is real nice though.  Radster type - shaved sides etc. It is almost 4 and I don't see m...

Started out as being a really lousy day - in fact the whole day was lousy! I studied until lunch and then Decide, Cami and Stephen and I went for a walk. Which was also lousy! Sometime between 6 and now though, all that changed. Around 9 when we were about to eat some of Colette's friends dropped by.  They have a boy my age.  They stayed until 11 and invited me to come see them in Paris - which was great - he seems very nice!  So for dinner I was in a good mood and we ate until 12:30 then went down the street to the center of the village to join the National Fete (party)! It was really great.  everyone was very happy (drunk) and some guy who spoke know English was telling everyone to tell me he loved me and wanted me to come with him for a walk.  Smashed as he was I gladly declined.  About 2:30 the party broke up and we realized we had forgotten to pickup their friend at the train.  So we hurried back to the party.  Some of her (Cami's fri...

I finally got up the nerve to ask for cottage cheese.  Of course it has a different name in French.  I described it to Decide and he said to ask for fromage blanc.  Well I asked but I got sour cream not cottage cheese.  Now I've got a whole container of sour cream and no chips and I still don't know the name for cottage cheese! Regular Saturday - we went to the market then I did History all day.  Took a walk around 2.  Pretty nice out.  Sunny and mild.  I guess the cold wave is over.  So is the great fun of Normandy.  I miss Armenda already.  She is so sweet!  Maybe we'll go back.  I sure would enjoy that - especially if it was beach weather! It is so strange - I can't get used to eating dinner at 8 p.m.  I am always hungry around 5 or 6. I feel very much like I am being held up in a bottle.  The "real me" could never spend all day doing history and not mind too much.  I could never sit around all day ...

Busy and fun week has come to an end.  After lunch at the same restaurant we said good-bey to Armenda Roland and Honfleur and headed back home. I am sad to leave Armenda.  I really like her.  She is a super cool lady.  We exchanged addresses so perhaps we will keep in touch. We had to go shopping for dinner.  I got a big letter from home and a letter from Rob.  I really enjoyed reading them.  I wrote back.  It took me until 10:30. Decide and I are staying up watching some movie. Bonsoir!

I finally made it to the real beach - with sand, boardwalk and water.  And it RAINED! And it was FREEZING!  So we walked the boards in the rain.  I love it! When we were so cold and wet that we couldn't stand it anymore we went back to the car.  And then something so amazing and unbelievable happened - I ate Chinese Food!  Not just the side stuff for people who don't like Chinese - but real Chinese menu food.  I had little ravioli noodles w/who knows what inside as an appetizer and then chicken and veggies in curry.  Also rice dessert was the greatest.  I had apple something and it was little apple rings with crepes or something on top.  Yum! After lunch we walked all through Trouville.  We saw an aquarium then went to Cote de Grace.  It is a neat little cathedral church. Had dinner here - Pizza! And watched TV again. Reeally great day (would have been great to go swimming but...) Picked up some hitchers today from Holland...

We traveled to St. Michael Monestary this morning.  It took us 5.5 hours because they kept getting lost.  St. Michael is a very big castle like city built up in the middle of where the ocean usually is.  It was low tide so there wasn't much water - but sometimes you can only get there by boat.  It was rally neat!  I enjoyed today! The ride back was quicker 2h45m.  Then we ate at the same restaurant again Oh - Mom - guess what - I ate fish soup.  ME - Amazing?!  Also prune jelly, hot chocolate, cherries, apple cider, dog food (patre) - I tried oysters - yuck!  They are amazed that I don't like sea food - that's why I always have hamburger.  She thinks it is all I eat.  I have to find out if they have cottage cheese here! I am really getting fat!  We have eaten out so much this week.  It is great food but I'm not gonna fit in my pants soon! They park on the sidewalks here.  It is already 10:30 and I wasn't bored at ...

Today was the best day I have had since I left - except for maybe the last day of orientation.  We traveled to Normandie today to Honflour.  It was a trip in itself.  Colette got lost again and was flipping out as usual.  Then she decided to beat the system and she went on the highway the wrong way.  I was praying big time that she would figure out what she was doing before we became dead meat.  All the cars were flashing their lights and she finally realized what she had done. I found out she has a soft spot for more than just animals - she always picks up hitch-hikers.  Today we picked up two.  They were a little hesitant about getting in because we had the funeral car and you can't see until you are in! Honflour is great!  I love it.  It is so beautiful.  It is a very old town and we are right by the harbor. There are ships everywhere.  The little village has lots of shops, cafes, museums and churches.  I would lo...

     I went to church today - well kind of -- it was a mass held in the retirement home over in the next village.  It was really neat.  There was 2 young boys (9 - 10), myself, Colette, 4 other ladies and the priest.  It was a nice service. Personal.  Seems strange, there are thousands of cathedrals and they meet in a tiny room in a nursing home.  I liked it.  Even though I didn't understand it.       Decide came today.  After lunch we played cards and then everybody kind of did their own thing.  I've been reading and writing my brains out in history.  I am determined to get this done.  It is very difficult because many of the questions aren't in either of my books.  So I just do what I can.      I have gained weight and I feel so awful about myself.  I don't have the same happy appearance as I used to.  Sometimes it is so hard to smile!  All I ever ...

7/5/86 Samedi Today we went to the post office and the market.  I sent another 6 letters and 6 postcards (40F)  From now on I will only write when I get letters. Today Sue sent me a letter.  Of course she wasn't one of the people I wrote to because she knows everybody I wrote, oh well.  Another letter to write. Today was a real lazy day.  Didn't do much.  Read chapter 22 for History and started the questions.  They have nothing to do with the chapter as far as I can see! Some of Colette's favorite sayings are: Oh..la..la.. Ca Suffit!  (That's enough!) Qu'est que fait?  What are you doing? Impossible When she is talking to the dogs. I still don't know all their names.  Coca - cutest most loveable smelliest thing I ever met. Tessibu - not sure which one she is. Misty Gris - cat - always up in my room, cleanest animal she has Zorro - oldest dog Sometimes I think I could really like it here and then something comes on T...