Tonya Loreman
226 7th Street
Marietta OH 45750
Friend from AFS
W.E. 'Mar' McCachern
PO BOX 490
Gainesville FL 32602
Met on airplane ride home
Kevin Stevens
6148 North Moody
Chicago IL 60646
Orientation AFS friend
Samantha Lenox
8986 Blue Jacket Apt 1408
Overland Park KS 66214
Orientation AFS friend
Stephanie Ray
1420 Bridge St
Ashtabula OH 44004
Nukhet Tuncel
18 Wildwood Drive
Lynnfield MA 01940
Sunday, August 31, 1986
08/31/86 Sunday Recovering from Jet lag
I saw everybody at church. It feels good to be back. I am still suffering jet lag. Slept for 3 hours after church.
I rearranged my room and went out with Rob and 8 other people to a movie. It reminded me of bad experiences in France. I hated it . It was Born American.
This will be my last entry in the this book. Right now I am happy to be back and inside I have bad feelings about France.
Good night.
I rearranged my room and went out with Rob and 8 other people to a movie. It reminded me of bad experiences in France. I hated it . It was Born American.
This will be my last entry in the this book. Right now I am happy to be back and inside I have bad feelings about France.
Good night.
Saturday, August 30, 1986
08/30/86 Saturday Swim party
Finally slept until 10:30 but I'm still not caught up. I tried to do my history today but could not concentrate. I went and saw Linda today. She is going to call when Joe gives her his new address. There was supposed to be a swim party for church but only a few families showed.
We ate dinner and then Rob and i went to a party of a friend of his. It was fun. We sat around talking with the family.
I'm still not over jet lag. Oh well.
Goodnight
We ate dinner and then Rob and i went to a party of a friend of his. It was fun. We sat around talking with the family.
I'm still not over jet lag. Oh well.
Goodnight
Friday, August 29, 1986
08/29/86 Friday Senior pictures, mall and a movie
Sent 12 rolls of film off to be developed.
Senior pictures were today and I know they are awful. My eyes were bloodshot and I felt gross. oh well.
Charlene and I went together and afterwards talked for 1.5 hours.
After lunch everybody went shopping. All day we were in the mall.
I made crepes for the family and they really liked them.
Rob and I went to see Karate kid II. I asked him.
We went and each paid our own. Afterward we talked about our feelings.
We never finished because when we got to his house Jamie, Mike Fanelli and Mike Tabasco were there. It was late anyway.
I started to explain the bad parts of this summer - the emotional stress and pain. It felt good to let it out but I still need to talk more. I feel relieved in a way.
I am still very exhausted - of course once again it is after 12. Maybe someday I'll catch up on my sleep?
Good Night!
Senior pictures were today and I know they are awful. My eyes were bloodshot and I felt gross. oh well.
Charlene and I went together and afterwards talked for 1.5 hours.
After lunch everybody went shopping. All day we were in the mall.
I made crepes for the family and they really liked them.
Rob and I went to see Karate kid II. I asked him.
We went and each paid our own. Afterward we talked about our feelings.
We never finished because when we got to his house Jamie, Mike Fanelli and Mike Tabasco were there. It was late anyway.
I started to explain the bad parts of this summer - the emotional stress and pain. It felt good to let it out but I still need to talk more. I feel relieved in a way.
I am still very exhausted - of course once again it is after 12. Maybe someday I'll catch up on my sleep?
Good Night!
Thursday, August 28, 1986
08/28/86 Thursday Getting back into USA life
The whole mutual group came over and took me and Tammy out for breakfast. It was so neat. we went to Denny's. Tammy spent the afternoon running around with me and my mom. I stopped in at Taco bell - no thrill - got shoes and went to the dr.
I am now on an inhaler for my asthma. I don't know exactly what jet lag is but I think I got it.
I got my hair chopped and went to band and then Mike Tabascos house until 11. I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight!
Tomorrow is my senior picture and my face is still broken out. It is so gross!
Mom talked to me until 12 about all the troubles here this summer. I don't know if she needed to talk or if she just thought I should know or if maybe it was a little of both. It is good that she can sit and talk with me. Some people don't have that kind of relationship with their family or mom. I feel numb again about my trip.
Everybody asks how it was and I don't know what to say.
It was awful and wonderful. I just feel ready to forget France and get back to USA life.
I am tired of having everyone ask how it was - and I know they don't really care - well a little bit they do. I'm tired of talking about France and thinking about France. But it is a party of me and I can't forget or not talk about it. For 2 months I lived and breathed France and now it will take some time to have other things on my mind besides France.
It is the same culture shock I experienced in France upon arrival only I missed USA - I don't miss France.
Good Night!
I am now on an inhaler for my asthma. I don't know exactly what jet lag is but I think I got it.
I got my hair chopped and went to band and then Mike Tabascos house until 11. I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight!
Tomorrow is my senior picture and my face is still broken out. It is so gross!
Mom talked to me until 12 about all the troubles here this summer. I don't know if she needed to talk or if she just thought I should know or if maybe it was a little of both. It is good that she can sit and talk with me. Some people don't have that kind of relationship with their family or mom. I feel numb again about my trip.
Everybody asks how it was and I don't know what to say.
It was awful and wonderful. I just feel ready to forget France and get back to USA life.
I am tired of having everyone ask how it was - and I know they don't really care - well a little bit they do. I'm tired of talking about France and thinking about France. But it is a party of me and I can't forget or not talk about it. For 2 months I lived and breathed France and now it will take some time to have other things on my mind besides France.
It is the same culture shock I experienced in France upon arrival only I missed USA - I don't miss France.
Good Night!
Wednesday, August 27, 1986
08/27/1986 Mercredi (Wednesday) I'm home!
Day 66
Once again I find myself sitting on a plane between Tonya and Samantha. There is a guy from Florida who we have been talking with. He came in from Russia and England . he took our pictures and said he'd send them to us. He is really talkative. Kind of funny I guess.
I am so relieved to be going home finally! It is sad saying goodbye to all the friends I've spent the last 2 days with. I haven't slept in almost 3 nights because of my stupid asthma. It is totally miserable. Even now my eyes are all blood shot and I still have a whole 6 hours extra when we get home. We arrive 2hr after we left - it is an 8H45M ride. We flew over England and Ireland and are coming in over Boston and New York. It is the longer of the ways to go home.
The guy from Florida gave us money from Russia. It is neat. The $ bill is the size of monopoly money. I feel all talked out and it is hard to write. Continue later!
Customs was really easy - not a single question. Mom and dad were on the other side. I was so happy to finally be finished. I said goodbye to Tonya and then hugged mom and dad. Mom had tears in her eyes. It felt so great.
The car ride I talked all the way home. I just couldn't shut up. I am on a very high high. After I came home we said hollow to Betty and then I got ready for band.
We got home around 4 and I showered and changed for band at 6. It was like before with me rushing and eating in only a few minutes. At band everyone was kind of surprised to see me. It felt so good to see everyone that I didn't feel very tired.
I did gain 10 lbs. I weigh exactly 140 today. Gotta get it off quick!
Also my face is broken out big time. it scares me. I got a senior picture on Friday.
After band I talked to Brian and Andrea. Paul Talone, who is a boy from our school, killed himself Saturday and we were talking about death and our summers.
It is 11 p.m. here but in France it is 5 a.m. I have been up for over 24 hours. - not really slept in 3 days. I am tired! Je Suis Fatiguee!!!
I keep thinking phrases in French. We stopped at an ice cream place and I forgot I could order in English. I always am trying to say things in French. I didn't even speak the language while i was in France. Weird.
Called Grama Davis and gramps also just to say I was back.
7 a.m. tomorrow going out for breakfast!
Good night!
Once again I find myself sitting on a plane between Tonya and Samantha. There is a guy from Florida who we have been talking with. He came in from Russia and England . he took our pictures and said he'd send them to us. He is really talkative. Kind of funny I guess.
I am so relieved to be going home finally! It is sad saying goodbye to all the friends I've spent the last 2 days with. I haven't slept in almost 3 nights because of my stupid asthma. It is totally miserable. Even now my eyes are all blood shot and I still have a whole 6 hours extra when we get home. We arrive 2hr after we left - it is an 8H45M ride. We flew over England and Ireland and are coming in over Boston and New York. It is the longer of the ways to go home.
The guy from Florida gave us money from Russia. It is neat. The $ bill is the size of monopoly money. I feel all talked out and it is hard to write. Continue later!
Customs was really easy - not a single question. Mom and dad were on the other side. I was so happy to finally be finished. I said goodbye to Tonya and then hugged mom and dad. Mom had tears in her eyes. It felt so great.
The car ride I talked all the way home. I just couldn't shut up. I am on a very high high. After I came home we said hollow to Betty and then I got ready for band.
We got home around 4 and I showered and changed for band at 6. It was like before with me rushing and eating in only a few minutes. At band everyone was kind of surprised to see me. It felt so good to see everyone that I didn't feel very tired.
I did gain 10 lbs. I weigh exactly 140 today. Gotta get it off quick!
Also my face is broken out big time. it scares me. I got a senior picture on Friday.
After band I talked to Brian and Andrea. Paul Talone, who is a boy from our school, killed himself Saturday and we were talking about death and our summers.
It is 11 p.m. here but in France it is 5 a.m. I have been up for over 24 hours. - not really slept in 3 days. I am tired! Je Suis Fatiguee!!!
I keep thinking phrases in French. We stopped at an ice cream place and I forgot I could order in English. I always am trying to say things in French. I didn't even speak the language while i was in France. Weird.
Called Grama Davis and gramps also just to say I was back.
7 a.m. tomorrow going out for breakfast!
Good night!
Tuesday, August 26, 1986
08/26/1986 Mardi (Tuesday) D'Oreintation
Day 65
Orientation has been really fun. We had a meeting in the morning and I realize I should have called for a change in my placement.
The things I experienced weren't normal.
We all talked about our summers and learned more about each other.
We ran to the store in the middle of the afternoon and then pigged out. No wonder we all gained weight!
At least that party of my summer was normal (great!!!)
We played UNO and spoons and talked all evening. Everybody seems ready to go home. I know I am.
I dread telling people about my summer. I don't know what I will say.
Bon Soir!
Orientation has been really fun. We had a meeting in the morning and I realize I should have called for a change in my placement.
The things I experienced weren't normal.
We all talked about our summers and learned more about each other.
We ran to the store in the middle of the afternoon and then pigged out. No wonder we all gained weight!
At least that party of my summer was normal (great!!!)
We played UNO and spoons and talked all evening. Everybody seems ready to go home. I know I am.
I dread telling people about my summer. I don't know what I will say.
Bon Soir!
Monday, August 25, 1986
08/25/86 Lundi (Monday) D'Orientation
Day 64
I am so glad to finally be gone. This morning was really easy. Got showered and ate and at 11 we left. I was scared coming to Montparnasse because Colette was driving like a maniac again. We arrived and parked and carted luggage forever. We found AFS and parked the luggage and then went for lunch.
When we said goodbye it was so fake - more like a relief for both of us than anything.
Today has been slow.
We are all grouped and waited for the bus then waited for our rooms then waited for orientation.
Everybody is beat.
It should go faster but even if it doesn't I am juts so happy to be away from Colette.
Tonya and I are in the same group. That's good!
Dinner was fun! I sat with Tonya and Samantha. Everybody has been sitting around chatting about their summer.
I feel cheated because everybody else had help with French. Some people had as hard a time staying as I did too. Fred said I could call him and had my house changed but ?? I guess I can look back and say it was good but I miss--- no I'm mad because I didn't pick up French. i really wish I had a real family. I am so upset that I didn't get a true french experience. Oh well.
Bon Soir.
I am so glad to finally be gone. This morning was really easy. Got showered and ate and at 11 we left. I was scared coming to Montparnasse because Colette was driving like a maniac again. We arrived and parked and carted luggage forever. We found AFS and parked the luggage and then went for lunch.
When we said goodbye it was so fake - more like a relief for both of us than anything.
Today has been slow.
We are all grouped and waited for the bus then waited for our rooms then waited for orientation.
Everybody is beat.
It should go faster but even if it doesn't I am juts so happy to be away from Colette.
Tonya and I are in the same group. That's good!
Dinner was fun! I sat with Tonya and Samantha. Everybody has been sitting around chatting about their summer.
I feel cheated because everybody else had help with French. Some people had as hard a time staying as I did too. Fred said I could call him and had my house changed but ?? I guess I can look back and say it was good but I miss--- no I'm mad because I didn't pick up French. i really wish I had a real family. I am so upset that I didn't get a true french experience. Oh well.
Bon Soir.
Sunday, August 24, 1986
08/24/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Last day at Colette's!
I can't believe how screwed up my emotions are. I am always on the verge of tears. I still have 24 hours to kill here and then another 30-36 at orientation. I just want to go home.
I organized all my things and packed all my hanging clothes except what I'm gonna wear until Wednesday. I have only 1F so I hope I don't need money before I get home. I am hoping to get all my things into 2 bags but I don't know if it is possible. I still have loads of history to do but I need other books to finish.
Things between Colette and I are tense but ok. I think she realizes I don't really like her and I don't think she likes me much although we have been holding small conversations today and we are going to a movie. I want to go home so bad I could just pop. I think that is why I'm so emotional. I'm glad I got to spend time with the Dulys.
My French improved lots. 2 people asked me questions at the train station and I understood and answered them.
I'm gonna write a thank you note and leave it up here for her to find after I'm gone. We raen't going to the movie - oh well. And great news! Tonya and I are together at orientation!!
By 2 p.m. tomorrow we are supposed to meet. That means I will be here only until 12! Great!
No details yet and Tonya doesn't know. I even had a conversations with Md LaPorte and Colette . It was wild. She understood most of what I was staying. Colette didn't because she doesn't care but it's ok. Colette was even laughing at me when I messed up by Md LaPort was patient and kind. It was neet.
Nothing exciting. Small conversation. Wrote music and played solitaire. I'm so excited to go home!
I weigh 143 - more than I've weighed in over a year. I'm still disgusted but I don't feel fat here. Last week I really felt good about me. I still do.
Bon Soir
I organized all my things and packed all my hanging clothes except what I'm gonna wear until Wednesday. I have only 1F so I hope I don't need money before I get home. I am hoping to get all my things into 2 bags but I don't know if it is possible. I still have loads of history to do but I need other books to finish.
Things between Colette and I are tense but ok. I think she realizes I don't really like her and I don't think she likes me much although we have been holding small conversations today and we are going to a movie. I want to go home so bad I could just pop. I think that is why I'm so emotional. I'm glad I got to spend time with the Dulys.
My French improved lots. 2 people asked me questions at the train station and I understood and answered them.
I'm gonna write a thank you note and leave it up here for her to find after I'm gone. We raen't going to the movie - oh well. And great news! Tonya and I are together at orientation!!
By 2 p.m. tomorrow we are supposed to meet. That means I will be here only until 12! Great!
No details yet and Tonya doesn't know. I even had a conversations with Md LaPorte and Colette . It was wild. She understood most of what I was staying. Colette didn't because she doesn't care but it's ok. Colette was even laughing at me when I messed up by Md LaPort was patient and kind. It was neet.
Nothing exciting. Small conversation. Wrote music and played solitaire. I'm so excited to go home!
I weigh 143 - more than I've weighed in over a year. I'm still disgusted but I don't feel fat here. Last week I really felt good about me. I still do.
Bon Soir
Saturday, August 23, 1986
08/22/86 Samedi (Saturday)
Left L'aigle this morning at 8:15. Everybody was real exhausted from last night but we managed. We stayed together until lunch at Burger King at around 1. Then we all split up until 5:30.
Good thing because everyone was really irritable and no one could decide what to do.
Tonya and I wondered around Paris and I bought a sweatshirt and she got a statue.
After we bought a big bag of cookies and coke and we fed the pigeons for an hour.
Everyone met up and we set off for the train. It was so insane it was almost funny. Nobody could figure out where to go. We finally figured it out and we all said Au Revoir 4 kisses and went our separate ways.
I made it back ok and Colette picked me up.
Tonya called around 9:30 to make sure I was back and we figured out I was at the other station than her. I burst out into tears and have been crying every since.
Colette doesn't understand. She keeps saying she isn't dead you know but Tonya is my only real friend in France. I gotta get control of myself. I am going to get sick if I'm not careful.
I read my millions of letters but I just want to go home. I'm tired of all this. My system is all screwed up. My period is 13 days late. I've never been this late before . I think maybe if I just sleep I'll be ok. I don't know. Only 4 days left. I gotta make it...happily.
Good thing because everyone was really irritable and no one could decide what to do.
Tonya and I wondered around Paris and I bought a sweatshirt and she got a statue.
After we bought a big bag of cookies and coke and we fed the pigeons for an hour.
Everyone met up and we set off for the train. It was so insane it was almost funny. Nobody could figure out where to go. We finally figured it out and we all said Au Revoir 4 kisses and went our separate ways.
I made it back ok and Colette picked me up.
Tonya called around 9:30 to make sure I was back and we figured out I was at the other station than her. I burst out into tears and have been crying every since.
Colette doesn't understand. She keeps saying she isn't dead you know but Tonya is my only real friend in France. I gotta get control of myself. I am going to get sick if I'm not careful.
I read my millions of letters but I just want to go home. I'm tired of all this. My system is all screwed up. My period is 13 days late. I've never been this late before . I think maybe if I just sleep I'll be ok. I don't know. Only 4 days left. I gotta make it...happily.
Friday, August 22, 1986
08/22/86 Vendredi (Friday) Drove a little car, played games
I have a hard time remembering today. It went rather quickly but not with much excitement. We had company for lunch and the children are staying over until tomorrow night. I drove Francois car again. Very difficult to shift because the shifter is in the front panel by the steering wheel.
We said goodbye to the grandparents and made spaghetti for dinner.
Accidentally overcooked the noodles so it wasn't very good. Oh well.
After dinner we went to a bar and sat there and played games (video, pinball) until almost 4 a.m. I am exhausted. Pierre is a real flirt and Francois thinks I have beautiful eyes. This is nice to hear.
Tomorrow we are going to Paris and then I return to Colette's house. I am too tired to write more.
Good night.
We said goodbye to the grandparents and made spaghetti for dinner.
Accidentally overcooked the noodles so it wasn't very good. Oh well.
After dinner we went to a bar and sat there and played games (video, pinball) until almost 4 a.m. I am exhausted. Pierre is a real flirt and Francois thinks I have beautiful eyes. This is nice to hear.
Tomorrow we are going to Paris and then I return to Colette's house. I am too tired to write more.
Good night.
Thursday, August 21, 1986
08/21/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Cold day
Today was the slowest day I've had in a few weeks. Even the weather seemed to be cold and dreary and slow. We went to the farm only until after lunch.
We walked up to the store and Tonya bought an Indochime tape (Music group)
We made choco-chip cookies then I took a nap. I was so tired and yucky feeling. I was freezing until my nap. I had goosebumps all day. It was awful. My stomach was messed up again today.
Around 8 I woke up and we got dinner on the table. Francois is in a bad mood today or something - he didn't talk to us at all. He made a point of ignoring us. It was awful. I gotta figure out what's wrong with him.
Pierre was being more outgoing and wild tonight - I guess since Francois was quiet.
They decided we are all going to Paris on Saturday and I'll go back to Colettes that evening by train. Should be fun. My feelings at this point are that I don't want everybody to know all the details of my summer because they wouldn't understand. I can see now why people say only that there summer was fun and nothing else. Sharing details only distorts our memory and bores other people. 99% of the people won't care about all the details - They'll just want short details.
Bon Soir
We walked up to the store and Tonya bought an Indochime tape (Music group)
We made choco-chip cookies then I took a nap. I was so tired and yucky feeling. I was freezing until my nap. I had goosebumps all day. It was awful. My stomach was messed up again today.
Around 8 I woke up and we got dinner on the table. Francois is in a bad mood today or something - he didn't talk to us at all. He made a point of ignoring us. It was awful. I gotta figure out what's wrong with him.
Pierre was being more outgoing and wild tonight - I guess since Francois was quiet.
They decided we are all going to Paris on Saturday and I'll go back to Colettes that evening by train. Should be fun. My feelings at this point are that I don't want everybody to know all the details of my summer because they wouldn't understand. I can see now why people say only that there summer was fun and nothing else. Sharing details only distorts our memory and bores other people. 99% of the people won't care about all the details - They'll just want short details.
Bon Soir
Wednesday, August 20, 1986
08/20/86 Mercredi (Tuesday) Farm work and water fight
Day 59
Today went so quickly that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.
We went to the farm and there were a bunch of Francois friends there. A couple were from Quebec and spoke English.
Before lunch Tonya and I fed all the animals and gathered the eggs and then got a bucket of potatoes.
The guys came by riding their little race car and on the way back I jumped on for a short ride.
After lunch we all went together in the car to pick a bad full of potatoes.
We drove through the dirt roads really crazy then had potato fights and dirt fights. I was so dirty that when you touched me anywhere dirt and dust flew. Then we had a massive water fight. I started it. I threw a glass of water at Francois and I ended up wet from head to toe- dripping wet! After I changed my shirt we went out and I hot a gun. I shot only 3X. I did ok, not great.
We had 12 people for dinner tonight.
At 11:30 we walked down to a disco in town. It was cool. In the street and along the sidewalks people were dancing and talking. We stayed up talking until 2:30.
Everybody didn't leave until 1. I am exhausted. And freezing. I haven't been warm since I was soaking wet. I probably will leave here on Friday or Saturday.
Bon Nuit
Today went so quickly that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.
We went to the farm and there were a bunch of Francois friends there. A couple were from Quebec and spoke English.
Before lunch Tonya and I fed all the animals and gathered the eggs and then got a bucket of potatoes.
The guys came by riding their little race car and on the way back I jumped on for a short ride.
After lunch we all went together in the car to pick a bad full of potatoes.
We drove through the dirt roads really crazy then had potato fights and dirt fights. I was so dirty that when you touched me anywhere dirt and dust flew. Then we had a massive water fight. I started it. I threw a glass of water at Francois and I ended up wet from head to toe- dripping wet! After I changed my shirt we went out and I hot a gun. I shot only 3X. I did ok, not great.
We had 12 people for dinner tonight.
At 11:30 we walked down to a disco in town. It was cool. In the street and along the sidewalks people were dancing and talking. We stayed up talking until 2:30.
Everybody didn't leave until 1. I am exhausted. And freezing. I haven't been warm since I was soaking wet. I probably will leave here on Friday or Saturday.
Bon Nuit
Tuesday, August 19, 1986
08/19/86 Mardi (Monday) Street Market
Went to town to the huge market. It was really cool. In the streets for blocks was all kinds of stands with live stock, food, clothes, junk etc.
We walked around for a couple of hours in the rain. I bought a few things. We came back and ate lunch at the house then wrote out music and recipes.
Everybody came back from the farm early and then guys got their haircut. And then their pictures taken. We stopped at a bar for a little while and came home and sat around.
They had company for a little while.
After dinner (We had shrimp - it's ok) Francois took me for a ride in his little car. It is so cool. It has one seat for 2 people and 3 wheels. We went around the little development here 2X.
We got in trouble last night for being up so late so we are going to bed early. It is 12 almost. I decided not to call home because I'm gonna make it. I really enjoyed being here. I miss not getting mail but it is easier because I don't have to think about everybody. I still think of everyone but I don't know what they are up to so I'm not wishing I was there.
Good night
Bon Nuit
We walked around for a couple of hours in the rain. I bought a few things. We came back and ate lunch at the house then wrote out music and recipes.
Everybody came back from the farm early and then guys got their haircut. And then their pictures taken. We stopped at a bar for a little while and came home and sat around.
They had company for a little while.
After dinner (We had shrimp - it's ok) Francois took me for a ride in his little car. It is so cool. It has one seat for 2 people and 3 wheels. We went around the little development here 2X.
We got in trouble last night for being up so late so we are going to bed early. It is 12 almost. I decided not to call home because I'm gonna make it. I really enjoyed being here. I miss not getting mail but it is easier because I don't have to think about everybody. I still think of everyone but I don't know what they are up to so I'm not wishing I was there.
Good night
Bon Nuit
Monday, August 18, 1986
08/18/86 Lundi (Monday) Making Crepes and playing silly games
Today we didn't spend much time at the farm. We fed the animals and took some pictures and ate and by 3 p.m. we left.
We welked into L'aigle and mailed some letters and walked around for about an hour and a half. Afterwards we learned how to make crepes. They were really good.
We stayed up until 1:30 tonight laughing and talking. I am really tired!
We were throwing cigarettes around and trying to get them in Francois and Pierre's mouths. It was so funny.
I tried escargots (snail) tonight. They are really good!
I tried to call home and tell everybody not to worry but no one was home. I might try again tomorrow.
Sometimes I really want to go home and others it is okay.
My French is going down hill. I think it is because I am too tired to think. I miss things and people so much and then I don't. Sometimes I feel like I could stay forever and others I don't think I can make it through the day. My feelings are so confused.
Je t'aime moi no plus - I love it me I don't. It is so true! Idon't want to say goodbye to everybody. I juts want to disappear from life here . I hate saying goodbye. Especially to Colette . I don't know how to be nice when I feel so much dislike for her. Well 1 week from today will be it!
Bon Soir
We welked into L'aigle and mailed some letters and walked around for about an hour and a half. Afterwards we learned how to make crepes. They were really good.
We stayed up until 1:30 tonight laughing and talking. I am really tired!
We were throwing cigarettes around and trying to get them in Francois and Pierre's mouths. It was so funny.
I tried escargots (snail) tonight. They are really good!
I tried to call home and tell everybody not to worry but no one was home. I might try again tomorrow.
Sometimes I really want to go home and others it is okay.
My French is going down hill. I think it is because I am too tired to think. I miss things and people so much and then I don't. Sometimes I feel like I could stay forever and others I don't think I can make it through the day. My feelings are so confused.
Je t'aime moi no plus - I love it me I don't. It is so true! Idon't want to say goodbye to everybody. I juts want to disappear from life here . I hate saying goodbye. Especially to Colette . I don't know how to be nice when I feel so much dislike for her. Well 1 week from today will be it!
Bon Soir
Sunday, August 17, 1986
08/17/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Playing the Organ, lazy Sunday
Another great day! We stayed up until 5:30 last night and then got up this morning at 9:30. We went to the farm. Only thing we did was care for the rabbits. The rest of the day we spent basically doing nothing. I was a little upset because I had to go back to Colettes tomorrow but Babbette made that good.
I don't have to go back until Thursday or Saturday. That is so good. We ate dinner out tonight because the family that has been here since I arrived were leaving today and it was taking forever for them to go so to avoid them we ate out.
Unfortunately they were still here when we got back at 8 p.m. Shortly after they left. Babette pulled out here electric organ which is nice and big and we played with it for more than an hour.
The guys came home and Francois, Pierre, Tonya and I played uno and then watched the lightening storm. Really fun.
We are going to sleep a little earlier tonight - 3 a.m. We should be in bed I hope!
I am so relieved about not going back to Colettes! I know prayers are answered because I'm here and I am learning to appreciate French people and the culture and am learning a little French. I am really glad this is working for the better!
Good Night!
Bon Soir!
I don't have to go back until Thursday or Saturday. That is so good. We ate dinner out tonight because the family that has been here since I arrived were leaving today and it was taking forever for them to go so to avoid them we ate out.
Unfortunately they were still here when we got back at 8 p.m. Shortly after they left. Babette pulled out here electric organ which is nice and big and we played with it for more than an hour.
The guys came home and Francois, Pierre, Tonya and I played uno and then watched the lightening storm. Really fun.
We are going to sleep a little earlier tonight - 3 a.m. We should be in bed I hope!
I am so relieved about not going back to Colettes! I know prayers are answered because I'm here and I am learning to appreciate French people and the culture and am learning a little French. I am really glad this is working for the better!
Good Night!
Bon Soir!
Saturday, August 16, 1986
08/16/86 Samedi (Saturday) Shopping and learning
Day 55
Ca va
Didin't go to the farm today. Instead went into town and shopped for special American Dinner!
We spent all afternoon making chocolate chip cookies and hamburgers. Almost everybody liked them.
The hamburgers were huge. They had pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup and buns with the meat. I didn't eat all of mine.
After dinner we walked around and talked outside and then played games. We waited up until 12 or so for the guys to come back from the farm and then we served them dinner.
Francois and Tonya and I stayed up until 4 a.m. learning and speaking in French and English. It was so fun. I learned all kind of neat little sayings.
Je vais ma coucher - I am going to bed.
Cher embillement an archique de cellules gerbatives en putre faction - means something like deal pile of cells of vomiting puss
Je suis desole - I am sorry
Taisez - vous - Be quiet! Tais toi also means be quiet
Allez and Vas-y means to go
I also am learning my passe compose avec etre. It is very difficult. This is so great! I love this place. I have only tomorrow and Monday morning and then I have to go back - yuk!
I don't want to. I love it here and I am learning so much. I'm really glad I had these past few days. My asthma was really bad today until after dinner when we were walking around and now I feel better except it hurts from the over use yesterday.
They live on Rue Verges which means Orchard Ave! Neat -- same street as my home address!!
Je vais ma couche! (ahh my bed!)
Bon Soir!
Ca va
Didin't go to the farm today. Instead went into town and shopped for special American Dinner!
We spent all afternoon making chocolate chip cookies and hamburgers. Almost everybody liked them.
The hamburgers were huge. They had pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup and buns with the meat. I didn't eat all of mine.
After dinner we walked around and talked outside and then played games. We waited up until 12 or so for the guys to come back from the farm and then we served them dinner.
Francois and Tonya and I stayed up until 4 a.m. learning and speaking in French and English. It was so fun. I learned all kind of neat little sayings.
Je vais ma coucher - I am going to bed.
Cher embillement an archique de cellules gerbatives en putre faction - means something like deal pile of cells of vomiting puss
Je suis desole - I am sorry
Taisez - vous - Be quiet! Tais toi also means be quiet
Allez and Vas-y means to go
I also am learning my passe compose avec etre. It is very difficult. This is so great! I love this place. I have only tomorrow and Monday morning and then I have to go back - yuk!
I don't want to. I love it here and I am learning so much. I'm really glad I had these past few days. My asthma was really bad today until after dinner when we were walking around and now I feel better except it hurts from the over use yesterday.
They live on Rue Verges which means Orchard Ave! Neat -- same street as my home address!!
Je vais ma couche! (ahh my bed!)
Bon Soir!
Friday, August 15, 1986
08/15/86 Vendredi (Friday) Working the combine
Ca Va?
Stayed up until 3 last night so getting up this morning was a challenge. We went to the farm around 12 today so we didn't feed all the animals. Someone else did.
We played with the kittens in the sunshine until lunch. Chicken from the farm. It was so good!
After lunch we just walked around until almost 5. Then we dug potatoes - new experience! And took bunches of hay and stacked them in rows in piles of 2 /\ /\ /\
We did that for almost 3 hours. My asthma was set off - I guess by the hay or maybe the dust - but it is awful - I haven't been this sick since I was at Grandma's house and everybody could hear me over the sewing machine - that time I went to the hospital - yuck. I'm in France - I don't want an Hopital! I wouldn't understand anything! I took a double dose of medicine and I sure hope it helps. Soon!
I really love it here. This place is so great! Babett - the mom - speaks real slow for me and repeats things until I get it. She is so patient and sweet. And the brothers (Pierre and Francois) also the same way. Not at all like Colette's place. It is wonderful here and I never want to go back!
I don't miss anything at Colette's house at all! Nothing! I think France is much nicer now and I realize there are some people who are trustworthy and friendly. I so love the Dulys and Tonya. They are great!
Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
Stayed up until 3 last night so getting up this morning was a challenge. We went to the farm around 12 today so we didn't feed all the animals. Someone else did.
We played with the kittens in the sunshine until lunch. Chicken from the farm. It was so good!
After lunch we just walked around until almost 5. Then we dug potatoes - new experience! And took bunches of hay and stacked them in rows in piles of 2 /\ /\ /\
We did that for almost 3 hours. My asthma was set off - I guess by the hay or maybe the dust - but it is awful - I haven't been this sick since I was at Grandma's house and everybody could hear me over the sewing machine - that time I went to the hospital - yuck. I'm in France - I don't want an Hopital! I wouldn't understand anything! I took a double dose of medicine and I sure hope it helps. Soon!
I really love it here. This place is so great! Babett - the mom - speaks real slow for me and repeats things until I get it. She is so patient and sweet. And the brothers (Pierre and Francois) also the same way. Not at all like Colette's place. It is wonderful here and I never want to go back!
I don't miss anything at Colette's house at all! Nothing! I think France is much nicer now and I realize there are some people who are trustworthy and friendly. I so love the Dulys and Tonya. They are great!
Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
Thursday, August 14, 1986
08/14/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Enjoying life with a normal French family
Day 53
Ca Va
I can't believe how great life can be . I realize now that there are normal French homes. I love this family. Today we got up and drove to their farm. Tonya and I fed the mouton (sheep) and the lapin (rabits) and headed the chicken outside and held the baby chicks and gathered eggs.
After our lunch of muscles we got a treat of riding moussonreuse-batteuse (combine) around the wheat field for about 1/2 hour.
We walked back up to the house and got buckets and filled 2 up with peas. Then for 3 hours the 5 of us sat around and shelled the peas. It was so great. They talked really slowing and helped lots with my French! I am having so much fun. We've stayed up until after 2 talking the second night now.
Francois and Tonya and I sat in the kitchen from 11 - 1 just talking and laughing in English and French. It is so neat to have a real family.
He thinks (they all think) Colette and that situation is totally crazy and inappropriate! I want to stay here next week. This is so great! I am learning to speak with Tonya's help and everyone elses. And learning to understand is so neat, to be able to help out and have people to talk with.
Today and last night went so fast!
I just can't believe it. I don't ever want to go back to Colette's! Never! French people can be cool and not all evil and corrupt! I am so glad I am at least getting 5 days!
Bon Soir!
Ca Va
I can't believe how great life can be . I realize now that there are normal French homes. I love this family. Today we got up and drove to their farm. Tonya and I fed the mouton (sheep) and the lapin (rabits) and headed the chicken outside and held the baby chicks and gathered eggs.
After our lunch of muscles we got a treat of riding moussonreuse-batteuse (combine) around the wheat field for about 1/2 hour.
We walked back up to the house and got buckets and filled 2 up with peas. Then for 3 hours the 5 of us sat around and shelled the peas. It was so great. They talked really slowing and helped lots with my French! I am having so much fun. We've stayed up until after 2 talking the second night now.
Francois and Tonya and I sat in the kitchen from 11 - 1 just talking and laughing in English and French. It is so neat to have a real family.
He thinks (they all think) Colette and that situation is totally crazy and inappropriate! I want to stay here next week. This is so great! I am learning to speak with Tonya's help and everyone elses. And learning to understand is so neat, to be able to help out and have people to talk with.
Today and last night went so fast!
I just can't believe it. I don't ever want to go back to Colette's! Never! French people can be cool and not all evil and corrupt! I am so glad I am at least getting 5 days!
Bon Soir!
Wednesday, August 13, 1986
08/13/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) L'Aigle
Ca Va!
After my much needed shower this morning Colette called Tony'a host and arranged for me to come here. The ride here took an hour and a half.
When we got to L'Aigle we had some difficulty find the house (Colette spazzed out again) but around 5:30 Tonya was found and by 7 they arranged for me to stay here until Monday around 12. Not sure of plans for going back yet.
This family is so neat!
It is just like home. They are maknig me speak French - I do Ok. We made croque - madame and monsiers - for dinner. 5 girls throwing ham and cheese and pineapples and buttering bread and laughing. It was great.
Then 9 of us sat down to eat. The 3 guys came home late.
We all sat around the computer and printed out different sayings.
It is 12:30 now. This is the best day I've had since I last saw Tonya! I sure wish I lived in a family like this with kids and togetherness etc! It is so much like my house! L'Aigle is really nice. Shpping everywhere! Real big town.
Write Later
Bon Soir
After my much needed shower this morning Colette called Tony'a host and arranged for me to come here. The ride here took an hour and a half.
When we got to L'Aigle we had some difficulty find the house (Colette spazzed out again) but around 5:30 Tonya was found and by 7 they arranged for me to stay here until Monday around 12. Not sure of plans for going back yet.
This family is so neat!
It is just like home. They are maknig me speak French - I do Ok. We made croque - madame and monsiers - for dinner. 5 girls throwing ham and cheese and pineapples and buttering bread and laughing. It was great.
Then 9 of us sat down to eat. The 3 guys came home late.
We all sat around the computer and printed out different sayings.
It is 12:30 now. This is the best day I've had since I last saw Tonya! I sure wish I lived in a family like this with kids and togetherness etc! It is so much like my house! L'Aigle is really nice. Shpping everywhere! Real big town.
Write Later
Bon Soir
Tuesday, August 12, 1986
08/12/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Liseux
Got up around 9 and ate and dressed quickly. Then I went on another shopping excursion. I found some mugs that say bonjour for 11F50 so I bouth 6 . Also some candies for inside. I still want to get 3 cidre and fomage and t-shirts or something for Becky and Ruth. I'll see how much I have left after that for whoever else. It is so difficult to get something for everybody cause you always forget somebody!
We ate lunch at a real neat restaurant. We had salad and ice cream again. Very good.
Colette is becoming quite a thief - a petty thief. She stole bread and the menu.
After Liseux - that's where we went today - we went shopping and she ate stuff through the store and never paid for them. I can't believe it.
Liseux is realyl neat. I would love to spend time there just shopping. it is so nice. We took a train ride and saw all the main points - St Anne's home, cathedral, etc. Very neat.
I enjoyed today lots.
I either go to Tonya's Thursday or Saturday. i hope Saturday so I can stay until next Tuesday (A big market will be there). Then I'll only have 4 or 5 days left at Colette's. Otherwise I'll have 1 week. That is 7 long days! And I don't want to spend any more $ besides necessities and gifts! I just want to get home fast!
Armand remains a sweetie and I really like staying here. Of course it is nice. We'll probably go to the beach tomorrow!! Yea! If not...?
Tonight I watched a polish movie with french captions. Looks like the plans are Tonya's tomorrow or Thursday until Saturday....???
We ate lunch at a real neat restaurant. We had salad and ice cream again. Very good.
Colette is becoming quite a thief - a petty thief. She stole bread and the menu.
After Liseux - that's where we went today - we went shopping and she ate stuff through the store and never paid for them. I can't believe it.
Liseux is realyl neat. I would love to spend time there just shopping. it is so nice. We took a train ride and saw all the main points - St Anne's home, cathedral, etc. Very neat.
I enjoyed today lots.
I either go to Tonya's Thursday or Saturday. i hope Saturday so I can stay until next Tuesday (A big market will be there). Then I'll only have 4 or 5 days left at Colette's. Otherwise I'll have 1 week. That is 7 long days! And I don't want to spend any more $ besides necessities and gifts! I just want to get home fast!
Armand remains a sweetie and I really like staying here. Of course it is nice. We'll probably go to the beach tomorrow!! Yea! If not...?
Tonight I watched a polish movie with french captions. Looks like the plans are Tonya's tomorrow or Thursday until Saturday....???
Monday, August 11, 1986
08/11/86 Lundi (Monday) More Honfleur and Deauville Beach
Ca Va!
Really enjoy staying here. Everybody is so much more pleasant. Armand is the sweetest kindest most giving person I have met. She would give her shirt and shoes and everything for anybody else. Colette is less of a spazz although when she drives she is still stupid but Armand always watches out for our safety with "Attend!" (Attention) We (Armand and I) ate breakfast together and then I dressed and ran to the post office.
I walked around through the shops but the ones I wanted to go to were closed so I came back. Before lunch we walked around a bit and fed the sea gulls then ate a rather short lunch. Only an hour. We were going to go to Liseaux butthe weather got nice so we went to Deauville and that's the nice beach. It was a little chilly for swimming so I just laid in the sand. Then we walked the boards (no stores but 1 here and there- we came home and made dinner.
It was so relaxing and nice here. I am still restless for return to home but I can almost tolerate the days and sometimes even enjoy the days here.
I hope to make this vacation last as long as possible so I have to spend as few days at Colette's as possible.
My history is all I worry about there. I don't even miss not getting my mail because there is usually something else to keep me semi happy.
Dieting is impossible as hard as I try but hopefully this gross appetite will go away when I get home.
Really enjoy staying here. Everybody is so much more pleasant. Armand is the sweetest kindest most giving person I have met. She would give her shirt and shoes and everything for anybody else. Colette is less of a spazz although when she drives she is still stupid but Armand always watches out for our safety with "Attend!" (Attention) We (Armand and I) ate breakfast together and then I dressed and ran to the post office.
I walked around through the shops but the ones I wanted to go to were closed so I came back. Before lunch we walked around a bit and fed the sea gulls then ate a rather short lunch. Only an hour. We were going to go to Liseaux butthe weather got nice so we went to Deauville and that's the nice beach. It was a little chilly for swimming so I just laid in the sand. Then we walked the boards (no stores but 1 here and there- we came home and made dinner.
It was so relaxing and nice here. I am still restless for return to home but I can almost tolerate the days and sometimes even enjoy the days here.
I hope to make this vacation last as long as possible so I have to spend as few days at Colette's as possible.
My history is all I worry about there. I don't even miss not getting my mail because there is usually something else to keep me semi happy.
Dieting is impossible as hard as I try but hopefully this gross appetite will go away when I get home.
Sunday, August 10, 1986
08/10/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Another day in Honfleur and enjoying the beach
Ca va!
I am really enjoying being here in Honfleur. Everything seems to go quicker and smoother and Colette doesn't flip out!
This morning I went for a 1.5 mi walk shopping for gifts for when I go home. I found a cute little picture frame with a saying on it in French on how to make a good day . It was 60F. I really like it.
There is a place down the street to get cidre for 3F50. I want to get 3 or 4 bottles but I'm afraid they'll be too heavy to carry home.
After my shopping excursion we went for lunch at AuOars Normand. We ate lunch for 2 hours. It was 435 F which is close to $70!
I ate poisson du filet with Normandie sauce. It was great. Also vegetables and french fries and apple cider and an apple tart. No I am not losing weight this way - just passing time.
After pigging out we went to the beach and exposed our flab! Colette changed clothes right on the beach. not me. I found a scummy smelly toilet room and changed. It is true most people don't wear tops and if they do they are so tiny they might as well not!It was nice. We spent about 3 hours on the beach. Don't know what we are doing this evening. I imagine just watching TV and eating. Possibly go for a walk.
Eat day brings me closer to getting out of this country. I can't wait. I just don't know what to bring back for everybody.
Well enough - I watched a German talking movie translated to French - still no English!
I am really enjoying being here in Honfleur. Everything seems to go quicker and smoother and Colette doesn't flip out!
This morning I went for a 1.5 mi walk shopping for gifts for when I go home. I found a cute little picture frame with a saying on it in French on how to make a good day . It was 60F. I really like it.
There is a place down the street to get cidre for 3F50. I want to get 3 or 4 bottles but I'm afraid they'll be too heavy to carry home.
After my shopping excursion we went for lunch at AuOars Normand. We ate lunch for 2 hours. It was 435 F which is close to $70!
I ate poisson du filet with Normandie sauce. It was great. Also vegetables and french fries and apple cider and an apple tart. No I am not losing weight this way - just passing time.
After pigging out we went to the beach and exposed our flab! Colette changed clothes right on the beach. not me. I found a scummy smelly toilet room and changed. It is true most people don't wear tops and if they do they are so tiny they might as well not!It was nice. We spent about 3 hours on the beach. Don't know what we are doing this evening. I imagine just watching TV and eating. Possibly go for a walk.
Eat day brings me closer to getting out of this country. I can't wait. I just don't know what to bring back for everybody.
Well enough - I watched a German talking movie translated to French - still no English!
Saturday, August 9, 1986
08/09/86 Samedi (Saturday) Trip to Honfleur
Ca Va!
The day passed rather quickly. Tony'as host mother called this morning and talked with Colette. They worked it out so that I can stay with them for a few days. An answer to my prayers once again.
We traveled to Honfleur today after lunch. We ate dinner at the same place we always eat when we are here. It was nice. We also had drinks at a cafe before. I am really tired but relieved to know I will kill a few days at Tonyas. I'm not sure how long we are here or how long I'll stay at Tonya's but it feels good to be away.
I have got to work on not eating as much. My pants are so tight! I did pretty good today. I ate less at the restaurant then last time. It was so hard because they eat so slow! I enjoy eating and running.
I don't know what to bring back for everyone. It is so difficult. And who do I bring back for? I cashed my don't touch unless emergency $50 today for my trip back from L'Aigle. I hope I can make it the week after all this fun. I'm so glad this worked out. At least it is supposed to work out!I'll keep praying. Only thing is now I may miss church. I wanted to go. Well we'll see. No major upsets today.
Colette still can't drive and I don't think she likes me much but that's ok because I don't like her much either. She is very 2 faced. Decide too. And thiefs and they like it . Yuk!
Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
The day passed rather quickly. Tony'as host mother called this morning and talked with Colette. They worked it out so that I can stay with them for a few days. An answer to my prayers once again.
We traveled to Honfleur today after lunch. We ate dinner at the same place we always eat when we are here. It was nice. We also had drinks at a cafe before. I am really tired but relieved to know I will kill a few days at Tonyas. I'm not sure how long we are here or how long I'll stay at Tonya's but it feels good to be away.
I have got to work on not eating as much. My pants are so tight! I did pretty good today. I ate less at the restaurant then last time. It was so hard because they eat so slow! I enjoy eating and running.
I don't know what to bring back for everyone. It is so difficult. And who do I bring back for? I cashed my don't touch unless emergency $50 today for my trip back from L'Aigle. I hope I can make it the week after all this fun. I'm so glad this worked out. At least it is supposed to work out!I'll keep praying. Only thing is now I may miss church. I wanted to go. Well we'll see. No major upsets today.
Colette still can't drive and I don't think she likes me much but that's ok because I don't like her much either. She is very 2 faced. Decide too. And thiefs and they like it . Yuk!
Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
Friday, August 8, 1986
08/08/86 Vendredi (Friday) Bad attitude
Ca Va, pas!
Today the people from church called. I probably can have a ride only this Sunday we'll be in Honfleur. I am so upset I'm going crazy. They think I'm rude here because I don't smile all the time and get thrills from posting pictures together or stealing things. I don't understand why I was sent here. What did I do that was so wrong. I want to go home so bad but I know I'd never forgive myself if I did.
Only 18 more days. The sad part is that I know there must be some nice normal French people somewhere. I'm getting an awful feeling for the French people as a whole.
Finished reading my English books today. I feel awful because the more I get to know them the more I dislike them. It is so awful living with someone you don't care about what happens to them.
Tonya called. I burst out in tears again. She said her host mom says I can come stay for 4 days or whatever. Only thing we gotta work out is Colette and the train.
She was gonna call at 9:30 and she did only Colette didn't answer the phone. Now I won't know until tomorrow.
I keep getting massive headaches from all the tension here. I hate it. I really would go home if I wasn't so stupid. I just have to finish this. I keep eating like a pig. I'm going to be so far. I hate me. I hate everything.
But I really don't. I just want to be on the other side of the world. I love people and they love me back. I'm so glad Tonya is my friend or I'd never make it. Gotta go watch some movies. Bye now.
Today the people from church called. I probably can have a ride only this Sunday we'll be in Honfleur. I am so upset I'm going crazy. They think I'm rude here because I don't smile all the time and get thrills from posting pictures together or stealing things. I don't understand why I was sent here. What did I do that was so wrong. I want to go home so bad but I know I'd never forgive myself if I did.
Only 18 more days. The sad part is that I know there must be some nice normal French people somewhere. I'm getting an awful feeling for the French people as a whole.
Finished reading my English books today. I feel awful because the more I get to know them the more I dislike them. It is so awful living with someone you don't care about what happens to them.
Tonya called. I burst out in tears again. She said her host mom says I can come stay for 4 days or whatever. Only thing we gotta work out is Colette and the train.
She was gonna call at 9:30 and she did only Colette didn't answer the phone. Now I won't know until tomorrow.
I keep getting massive headaches from all the tension here. I hate it. I really would go home if I wasn't so stupid. I just have to finish this. I keep eating like a pig. I'm going to be so far. I hate me. I hate everything.
But I really don't. I just want to be on the other side of the world. I love people and they love me back. I'm so glad Tonya is my friend or I'd never make it. Gotta go watch some movies. Bye now.
Thursday, August 7, 1986
08/07/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Shoplifting
Today we went back to the huge store and had lunch. It wasn't as neat as the first time. I feel blah after such an exciting week. I got a package fro home today with recipes and cross-stitch. I finished the cross-stitch today. It is really cute. It has the words bear hugs are in written on it. I sure need a hug - from someone who cares. Not anybody here.
It is really cold today. I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that. I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation. It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much. I just want to be home. I almost started crying while I was making dinner. I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts. I also feel like they don't like me either. I don't blame them.
Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section. They took off the tags and Decide walked out of the store with it. It was 119F ($15) and he just stole it. They thought it was so funny. I just turned my head away. What am I supposed to do? People think I'm like them because I live with them. It is so wrong. I didn't want to let myself get upset and I am upset again. I hate myself for having these feelings. 2 weeks isn't much longer. I just gotta do it. Happily. Please.
My French is getting worse not better. If I ever come back here (France) I'm going to study some French first or bring books - this is awful. I feel so bad because everyone is worrying. I just want out! I'm gonna cry now. Alone again.
It is really cold today. I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that. I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation. It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much. I just want to be home. I almost started crying while I was making dinner. I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts. I also feel like they don't like me either. I don't blame them.
Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section. They took off the tags and Decide walked out of the store with it. It was 119F ($15) and he just stole it. They thought it was so funny. I just turned my head away. What am I supposed to do? People think I'm like them because I live with them. It is so wrong. I didn't want to let myself get upset and I am upset again. I hate myself for having these feelings. 2 weeks isn't much longer. I just gotta do it. Happily. Please.
My French is getting worse not better. If I ever come back here (France) I'm going to study some French first or bring books - this is awful. I feel so bad because everyone is worrying. I just want out! I'm gonna cry now. Alone again.
Wednesday, August 6, 1986
08/06/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) Paris again - Le Louvre
I feel like I have jet lag again - I am exhausted! I had such a great day. I ventured on my own again into Paris and by a small miracle Tonya and I caught up with each other. Then we walked and walked and walked - right pas the Louvre! Way past LeLouvre!
We sat down on some church steps and ate our bag lunches and then started back tracking.
Decide saw us and that is amazing! In all of Paris and we run into each other. He drank some coke with us while we walked the many blocks back. Then we went in and he went elsewhere. It is so big! We took 1 1/2 hour guided tour and saw all the famous stuff then wandered around for another 1 1/2 hour through the rooms. It was hot. And so crowded. I really enjoyed it though. After we walked to Notre Dame Cathedral and walked through we were so tired and a long way from the metro.
We finally found the metro and had the wrong tickets. After awhile we finally got squared away and we hugged and parted. Sad. She probably isn't coming over.
Too much to work out but she is gonna try to work it so I can come over to her house. Who knows?!
Aug 25 I leave here. 2/3 finished this adventure. I have enjoyed it much recently but I'm going broke quick! I have only $32 left. Oh well. I gotta stop spending for awhile. I am so tired I can hardly see so Goodnight!
We sat down on some church steps and ate our bag lunches and then started back tracking.
Decide saw us and that is amazing! In all of Paris and we run into each other. He drank some coke with us while we walked the many blocks back. Then we went in and he went elsewhere. It is so big! We took 1 1/2 hour guided tour and saw all the famous stuff then wandered around for another 1 1/2 hour through the rooms. It was hot. And so crowded. I really enjoyed it though. After we walked to Notre Dame Cathedral and walked through we were so tired and a long way from the metro.
We finally found the metro and had the wrong tickets. After awhile we finally got squared away and we hugged and parted. Sad. She probably isn't coming over.
Too much to work out but she is gonna try to work it so I can come over to her house. Who knows?!
Aug 25 I leave here. 2/3 finished this adventure. I have enjoyed it much recently but I'm going broke quick! I have only $32 left. Oh well. I gotta stop spending for awhile. I am so tired I can hardly see so Goodnight!
Tuesday, August 5, 1986
08/05/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Versaille
Today we went to Versaille. It was really nice. We went through the huge Chateau and gardens. Tonya and I talked the whole time. It was really fun. After we brought up her coming here and Colette and her discussed everything and I thought it was settled but I guess Colette didn't like whatever they discussed because when we got home she flipped out - she was the one that said about driving to L'Aigle and then she asks me why we have to go there. no sense. I would never have asked her to drive there and she flips out after SHE makes the suggestion herself. i don't understand her at all. She ruined my whole day. She was so nasty when she asked me about her coming. I don't even know what they said So I couldn't defend anything.
Tomorrow I am meeting Tonya in Paris at 11 and we are going to LeLouvre! Neat, huh?! I don't know if Tonya will come or not. I guess I'll wait and see what happens.
I got a letter from Terry and Andrea and Brian today. I have no more air mail envelopes so? W/b whenever?
I felt really great all week and this little incident has really got me upset. I was so excited - now it is all falling apart again. Why?
Every time I start liking it here something ruins it. This will be the 3rd day in a row that I go to be exhausted. It is great! I love it. I just hope everything works out tomorrow and this weekend.
Tomorrow I am meeting Tonya in Paris at 11 and we are going to LeLouvre! Neat, huh?! I don't know if Tonya will come or not. I guess I'll wait and see what happens.
I got a letter from Terry and Andrea and Brian today. I have no more air mail envelopes so? W/b whenever?
I felt really great all week and this little incident has really got me upset. I was so excited - now it is all falling apart again. Why?
Every time I start liking it here something ruins it. This will be the 3rd day in a row that I go to be exhausted. It is great! I love it. I just hope everything works out tomorrow and this weekend.
Monday, August 4, 1986
08/04/86 Lundi (Monday) Paris
I ventured out on my own again! This time I met Tonya in Paris. These 2 older guys bought us a drink (coca-cola) and we talked with them until they went back to work. I got to Paris at one. 3 train transfers! Luck let me find Tonya in the HUGE station! I am really enjoying figuring out the system. Although it is expensive. I spent my first $100 today which is right on schedule as today was the scheduled day to change my last $50. (only the banks are closed)
I may go to Versaille sometime this week and Friday Tonya might come here. I don't know.
After we got rid of those guys we went to McDonald's and walked all around Paris. We went to LeLouvre and all sorts of neat things. It was so great just to be out!
We got some chocolate and I was in HEAVEN!
Then we played some more games with the trains and found our way back. It was so wonderful.
She wants to go to LeLouvre Wednesday and Versaille Thursday but I'm not sure I can afford it - but I think I should go - I don't know.
I finally figured out the train pretty well and with the map I do ok.
Perhaps this is the Lord's way of helping me but I don't know.
I got a letter from Leslie Kunz and Rob. I figured out all she told me before I got the letter. I'm glad she wrote though.It is nice to have reassurance. I guess I really have enjoyed the past week. I am not sure what do do this week.
Tonya is here and we can do things but I don't know if Colette minds - but I'm only here once - perhaps I should.
Maybe not tomorrow but perhaps Wednesday and Thursday I'll go. I am really tired! It is such a great feeling! Maybe I'll walk and call Tonya so she knows what's going on in my head.
I may go to Versaille sometime this week and Friday Tonya might come here. I don't know.
After we got rid of those guys we went to McDonald's and walked all around Paris. We went to LeLouvre and all sorts of neat things. It was so great just to be out!
We got some chocolate and I was in HEAVEN!
Then we played some more games with the trains and found our way back. It was so wonderful.
She wants to go to LeLouvre Wednesday and Versaille Thursday but I'm not sure I can afford it - but I think I should go - I don't know.
I finally figured out the train pretty well and with the map I do ok.
Perhaps this is the Lord's way of helping me but I don't know.
I got a letter from Leslie Kunz and Rob. I figured out all she told me before I got the letter. I'm glad she wrote though.It is nice to have reassurance. I guess I really have enjoyed the past week. I am not sure what do do this week.
Tonya is here and we can do things but I don't know if Colette minds - but I'm only here once - perhaps I should.
Maybe not tomorrow but perhaps Wednesday and Thursday I'll go. I am really tired! It is such a great feeling! Maybe I'll walk and call Tonya so she knows what's going on in my head.
Sunday, August 3, 1986
08/03/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Church!
I certainly had an exciting, tiring long day! I finally made it to church. It was really difficult to get there! It also takes almost and hour and half with car, train, bus and metro transfers! Colette drove me to Charles de Galle (train station) at 11:30 and at 11:45 I caught the train to Chatlet Les Halles where I met the missionaries. They were very nice. Drake is from Utah and has only 2 weeks left. Tran is from Colorado and has 13 months left. He was more talkative of the two. The third was a mini-mission French dude who I really didn't talk to.
Ater I met them we went to Gare du Nord then caught another train to Nogent then a bus to somewhere else and finally we walked 4-5 blocks to the church. We arrived about 1 p.m. Church is at 2 p.m. I played piano for 20 minutes then talked to the sister missionaries and Elder Tran. I don't reeber their names but they were from California and Montana.
Church was interesting. A really big building with only about 40 members present. Everyone is on vacation. I met no one young except missionaries! I understood only relief society because we had pictures.
After church the sister missionaries took me back to the train. There was 3 or 5 transfers before the hookup to Charles de Galle. On the way back I spoke with a man who is only french speaking! (Amazing!)
Church wasn't really spiritually uplifting because I didn't understand it but I needed to get out.
We also watched a baptism. I got home just before 9. 9 hours for 4 hours of church. Insane. It was good to get out but I'm not sure if I'll attempt to go again. It is really confusing and expensive. I spent 75F ($10.70) on transportation. I can't afford that! Well at least I got there once!
I can't believe how well Colette and I have been getting along. We have really been talking and concerned with each other. Tonight we watched a movie until 12:45. I am exhausted but my heart is happy. I am really happy with me. Even though I am still very much heavier than I wish to be I am happy. I really don't know when Honfleur is but there is talk of Belgium or Suisse again. I'm not gonna hope though. Honfleur is all I will look forward to. The last month is going to be good! I have to make it good. The missionaries said that when they stopped writing hoe and counting the days it got easier. Well maybe I'll stop writing to so many people. I don't know. I really enjoy writing letters. I just had to write how happy I am because lately I have really been content. I prefer home but with goals and prayer I think I can go home with a good feeling for France. Sometimes I really hate this place and other times I love it. I am finally getting better at forming baby sentences and sometimes I can comprehend 3/4 of a sentence.
At the trains someone asked me if I knew where they could catch a certain bus - of course I didn't know but I understood and I answered in French! He didn't know I don't speak French! I didn't have to ask him to repeat or tell him I didn't know French! I am really proud of myself. I know it is minor but for me it is major. I guess I better hit the hay. I am worn out but maybe this is why I'm so happy. I enjoy being active and out doing thing. Decide was right. I should try to go to Paris by myself by train and explore by myself. Something to think about anyway. Although a little expensive. Oh well. We'll see what happens, huh.
Bon soir
Bon nuit
Ater I met them we went to Gare du Nord then caught another train to Nogent then a bus to somewhere else and finally we walked 4-5 blocks to the church. We arrived about 1 p.m. Church is at 2 p.m. I played piano for 20 minutes then talked to the sister missionaries and Elder Tran. I don't reeber their names but they were from California and Montana.
Church was interesting. A really big building with only about 40 members present. Everyone is on vacation. I met no one young except missionaries! I understood only relief society because we had pictures.
After church the sister missionaries took me back to the train. There was 3 or 5 transfers before the hookup to Charles de Galle. On the way back I spoke with a man who is only french speaking! (Amazing!)
Church wasn't really spiritually uplifting because I didn't understand it but I needed to get out.
We also watched a baptism. I got home just before 9. 9 hours for 4 hours of church. Insane. It was good to get out but I'm not sure if I'll attempt to go again. It is really confusing and expensive. I spent 75F ($10.70) on transportation. I can't afford that! Well at least I got there once!
I can't believe how well Colette and I have been getting along. We have really been talking and concerned with each other. Tonight we watched a movie until 12:45. I am exhausted but my heart is happy. I am really happy with me. Even though I am still very much heavier than I wish to be I am happy. I really don't know when Honfleur is but there is talk of Belgium or Suisse again. I'm not gonna hope though. Honfleur is all I will look forward to. The last month is going to be good! I have to make it good. The missionaries said that when they stopped writing hoe and counting the days it got easier. Well maybe I'll stop writing to so many people. I don't know. I really enjoy writing letters. I just had to write how happy I am because lately I have really been content. I prefer home but with goals and prayer I think I can go home with a good feeling for France. Sometimes I really hate this place and other times I love it. I am finally getting better at forming baby sentences and sometimes I can comprehend 3/4 of a sentence.
At the trains someone asked me if I knew where they could catch a certain bus - of course I didn't know but I understood and I answered in French! He didn't know I don't speak French! I didn't have to ask him to repeat or tell him I didn't know French! I am really proud of myself. I know it is minor but for me it is major. I guess I better hit the hay. I am worn out but maybe this is why I'm so happy. I enjoy being active and out doing thing. Decide was right. I should try to go to Paris by myself by train and explore by myself. Something to think about anyway. Although a little expensive. Oh well. We'll see what happens, huh.
Bon soir
Bon nuit
Saturday, August 2, 1986
08/02/86 Samedi (Saturday) Lazy Saturday
I got up and started making my breakfast when Colette came in and game me a necklace that says AFS. (AFS is the name of the program that I came to France with) It is really nice. I was surprised. (pleasantly!)
We went shopping and I think we are back to old Saturday nothing.
She said if I got the address of the church she would go with me. I'll wait until 9 tonight and then call. I really want to go. Collette doesn't like Isabel but she said I could call her if I wanted to do something. I don't think Isabell likes Colette either. I wonder if Colette doesn't like me. Oh well, doesn't matter anyway!
It is chilly today. I think I'l put on a sweatshirt and go read outside. I didn't sleep good last night and now I'm exhausted! I'll continue writing later.
My sweatshirt turned into a bathing suit and I roasted in the hot sun until 6 p.m. Colette and I then walked down to the farm and got eggs, milk and cottage cheese. On the way back we stopped at her friend's house and they talked until after 8. I have been trying to call church since 8:50 and noone answers the phone. Colette even said she'd drive me but I have no address. I am really losing it. I thought I had it all together but if I don't get a response tonight I am gonna fall apart again. I'm gonna pray and then go down and try again.
Prayers are answered!!! I'm really going to get to church!!! I called the mission home and talked to Elder Wells who told me to call Elder Drake and Elder Tron. Thy are going to meet me at the station and give me french books and be my friends!
I am so glad! I'm really gonna go to church and have friends now. My goals are becoming easier. Praying really works! I have to thank the Lord again! I'm so happy I could cry1
From now on I'm gonna try to pray more often for better reasons. I really am gaining a testimony of prayer!
Bon Soir, Bon Nuit
We went shopping and I think we are back to old Saturday nothing.
She said if I got the address of the church she would go with me. I'll wait until 9 tonight and then call. I really want to go. Collette doesn't like Isabel but she said I could call her if I wanted to do something. I don't think Isabell likes Colette either. I wonder if Colette doesn't like me. Oh well, doesn't matter anyway!
It is chilly today. I think I'l put on a sweatshirt and go read outside. I didn't sleep good last night and now I'm exhausted! I'll continue writing later.
My sweatshirt turned into a bathing suit and I roasted in the hot sun until 6 p.m. Colette and I then walked down to the farm and got eggs, milk and cottage cheese. On the way back we stopped at her friend's house and they talked until after 8. I have been trying to call church since 8:50 and noone answers the phone. Colette even said she'd drive me but I have no address. I am really losing it. I thought I had it all together but if I don't get a response tonight I am gonna fall apart again. I'm gonna pray and then go down and try again.
Prayers are answered!!! I'm really going to get to church!!! I called the mission home and talked to Elder Wells who told me to call Elder Drake and Elder Tron. Thy are going to meet me at the station and give me french books and be my friends!
I am so glad! I'm really gonna go to church and have friends now. My goals are becoming easier. Praying really works! I have to thank the Lord again! I'm so happy I could cry1
From now on I'm gonna try to pray more often for better reasons. I really am gaining a testimony of prayer!
Bon Soir, Bon Nuit
Friday, August 1, 1986
08/01/86 Vendredi (Friday) Hanging with Jerome
Day 40
Yes, I really made it to Aout! A month and two weeks has just slipped past me. I've been reading some of the things I wrote and it is wierd how changeable my feelings are. One minute I like it, the next I don't! It is true that I have enjoyed this week even though not much has been happening.
Perhaps I just have to play mind games with myself and make myself enjoy this, ya know?
We went to Jerome's house and I played ping pone (he won of course) then looked at a book and he gave me some stamps while we listened to music. It was fun. It is probably the last I will see him. In 4 days he leaves. I even explained something in French and he understood. It is kind of like a puzzle figuring out how to say things in French. Sometimes it is fun to play with the puzzle and other times I just want to put it away.
I have also continued to get along with Colette. It is nice. Today is the day I told church I'd be back and still no call. I sure hope they decided to wait until tomorrow and haven't forgotten me. I sent 8 letters and 2 post cards today. The $ rate keeps going down so I don't know if it is wise to change my money before it goes down more or wait until it goes back up. If it goes back up!
We had another great french pasterie for dinner tonight. My diet will never work! I'm staying a steady 62. (136 lbs)
When we go to Honfleur I'll probably gain even more because it is so great -- the food there I mean!This is awful. I know exactly where I gained it - my gut and my butt. Yuk! I feel so gross!
I got 2 letters today. Sue Meltzer and Terry Williams -- filled me in on all the latest and greatest in all my favorite places - home, church, work and band. I guess that's it. I always make it from one day to the next wondering what will be in the mail. Only problem is I f=get real sad when there is no mail! Isabel and Patricia came over for 1 hour. They always make me remember the freedom I had to come and go as I please. I miss home!
Yes, I really made it to Aout! A month and two weeks has just slipped past me. I've been reading some of the things I wrote and it is wierd how changeable my feelings are. One minute I like it, the next I don't! It is true that I have enjoyed this week even though not much has been happening.
Perhaps I just have to play mind games with myself and make myself enjoy this, ya know?
We went to Jerome's house and I played ping pone (he won of course) then looked at a book and he gave me some stamps while we listened to music. It was fun. It is probably the last I will see him. In 4 days he leaves. I even explained something in French and he understood. It is kind of like a puzzle figuring out how to say things in French. Sometimes it is fun to play with the puzzle and other times I just want to put it away.
I have also continued to get along with Colette. It is nice. Today is the day I told church I'd be back and still no call. I sure hope they decided to wait until tomorrow and haven't forgotten me. I sent 8 letters and 2 post cards today. The $ rate keeps going down so I don't know if it is wise to change my money before it goes down more or wait until it goes back up. If it goes back up!
We had another great french pasterie for dinner tonight. My diet will never work! I'm staying a steady 62. (136 lbs)
When we go to Honfleur I'll probably gain even more because it is so great -- the food there I mean!This is awful. I know exactly where I gained it - my gut and my butt. Yuk! I feel so gross!
I got 2 letters today. Sue Meltzer and Terry Williams -- filled me in on all the latest and greatest in all my favorite places - home, church, work and band. I guess that's it. I always make it from one day to the next wondering what will be in the mail. Only problem is I f=get real sad when there is no mail! Isabel and Patricia came over for 1 hour. They always make me remember the freedom I had to come and go as I please. I miss home!
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