12/31/86 Letter from Deanna Laurito to Ralph and Dorothy Davis - David to Navy

12/10/1986 Deanna Laurito Christmas Letter

8/31/86 Contacts from France

Tonya Loreman
226 7th Street
Marietta OH 45750
Friend from AFS

W.E. 'Mar' McCachern
PO BOX 490
Gainesville FL 32602
Met on airplane ride home

Kevin Stevens
6148 North Moody
Chicago IL 60646
Orientation AFS friend

Samantha Lenox
8986 Blue Jacket Apt 1408
Overland Park KS 66214
Orientation AFS friend

Stephanie Ray
1420 Bridge St
Ashtabula OH 44004

Nukhet Tuncel
18 Wildwood Drive
Lynnfield MA 01940

08/31/86 Sunday Recovering from Jet lag

I saw everybody at church. It feels good to be back. I am still suffering jet lag.  Slept for 3 hours after church.

I rearranged my room and went out with Rob and 8 other people to a movie.  It reminded me of bad experiences in France.  I hated it . It was Born American.

This will be my last entry in the this book.  Right now I am happy to be back and inside I have bad feelings about France.

Good night.

08/30/86 Saturday Swim party

Finally slept until 10:30 but I'm still not caught up.  I tried to do my history today but could not concentrate.  I went and saw Linda today.  She is going to call when Joe gives her his new address.  There was supposed to be a swim party for church but only a few families showed.

We ate dinner and then Rob and i went to a party of a friend of his.  It was fun.  We sat around talking with the family.

I'm still not over jet lag. Oh well.

Goodnight

08/29/86 Friday Senior pictures, mall and a movie

Sent 12 rolls of film off to be developed.

Senior pictures were today and I know they are awful.  My eyes were bloodshot and I felt gross.  oh well.

Charlene and I went together and afterwards talked for 1.5 hours.

After lunch everybody went shopping.  All day we were in the mall.

I made crepes for the family and they really liked them.

Rob and I went to see Karate kid II. I asked him.

We went and each paid our own.  Afterward we talked about our feelings.

We never finished because when we got to his house Jamie, Mike Fanelli and Mike Tabasco were there. It was late anyway.

I started to explain the bad parts of this summer - the emotional stress and pain.  It felt good to let it out but I still need to talk more.  I feel relieved in a way.

I am still very exhausted - of course once again it is after 12.  Maybe someday I'll catch up on my sleep?

Good Night!

08/28/86 Thursday Getting back into USA life

The whole mutual group came over and took me and Tammy out for breakfast.  It was so neat.  we went to Denny's.  Tammy spent the afternoon running around with me and my mom.  I stopped in at Taco bell - no thrill - got shoes and went to the dr.

I am now on an inhaler for my asthma.  I don't know exactly what jet lag is but I think I got it.

I got my hair chopped and went to band and then Mike Tabascos house until 11.  I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight!

Tomorrow is my senior picture and my face is still broken out. It is so gross!

Mom talked to me until 12 about all the troubles here this summer.  I don't know if she needed to talk or if she just thought I should know or if maybe it was a little of both. It is good that she can sit and talk with me. Some people don't have that kind of relationship with their family or mom.  I feel numb again about my trip.

Everybody asks how it was and I don't know what to say.

It was awful and wonderful. I just feel ready to forget France and get back to USA life.

I am tired of having everyone ask how it was - and I know they don't really care - well a little bit they do.  I'm tired of talking about France and thinking about France. But it is a party of me and I can't forget or not talk about it. For 2 months I lived and breathed France and now it will take some time to have other things on my mind besides France.

It is the same culture shock I experienced in France upon arrival only I missed USA - I don't miss France.

Good Night!

08/28/86 Deanna Laurito letter to Ralph and Dorothy Davis - return from France, money, warrants

08/27/1986 Mercredi (Wednesday) I'm home!

Day 66
Once again I find myself sitting on a plane between Tonya and Samantha.  There is a guy from Florida who we have been talking with.  He came in from Russia and England . he took our pictures and said he'd send them to us. He is really talkative. Kind of funny I guess.

I am so relieved to be going home finally!  It is sad saying goodbye to all the friends I've spent the last 2 days with. I haven't slept in almost 3 nights because of my stupid asthma.  It is totally miserable.  Even now my eyes are all blood shot and I still have a whole 6 hours extra when we get home.  We arrive 2hr after we left - it is an 8H45M ride.  We flew over England and Ireland and are coming in over Boston and New York.  It is the longer of the ways to go home.

The guy from Florida gave us money from Russia.  It is neat. The $ bill is the size of monopoly money. I feel all talked out and it is hard to write. Continue later!

Customs was really easy - not a single question.  Mom and dad were on the other side.  I was so happy to finally be finished. I said goodbye to Tonya and then hugged mom and dad.  Mom had tears in her eyes.  It felt so great.

The car ride I talked all the way home.  I just couldn't shut up.  I am on a very high high.  After I came home we said hollow to Betty and then I got ready for band.

We got home around 4 and I showered and changed for band at 6.  It was like before with me rushing and eating in only a few minutes. At band everyone was kind of surprised to see me.  It felt so good to see everyone that I didn't feel very tired.

I did gain 10 lbs.  I weigh exactly 140 today.  Gotta get it off quick!

Also my face is broken out big time.  it scares me.  I got a senior picture on Friday.

After band I talked to Brian and Andrea.  Paul Talone, who is a boy from our school, killed himself Saturday and we were talking about death and our summers.

It is 11 p.m. here but in France it is 5 a.m. I have been up for over 24 hours.  - not really slept in 3 days.  I am tired!  Je Suis Fatiguee!!!

I keep thinking phrases in French. We stopped at an ice cream place and I forgot I could order in English.  I always am trying to say things in French.  I didn't even speak the language while i was in France.  Weird.

Called Grama Davis and gramps also just to say I was back.

7 a.m. tomorrow going out for breakfast!
Good night!

08/26/1986 Mardi (Tuesday) D'Oreintation

Day 65
Orientation has been really fun.  We had a meeting in the morning and I realize I should have called for a change in my placement.

The things I experienced weren't normal.

We all talked about our summers and learned more about each other.

We ran to the store in the middle of the afternoon and then pigged out. No wonder we all gained weight!

At least that party of my summer was normal (great!!!)

We played UNO and spoons and talked all evening.  Everybody seems ready to go home.  I know I am.

I dread telling people about my summer.  I don't know what I will say.

Bon Soir!

08/25/86 Lundi (Monday) D'Orientation

Day 64
I am so glad to finally be gone. This morning was really easy.  Got showered and ate and at 11 we left.  I was scared coming to Montparnasse because Colette was driving like a maniac again.  We arrived and parked and carted luggage forever.  We found AFS and parked the luggage and then went for lunch.

When we said goodbye it was so fake - more like a relief for both of us than anything.

Today has been slow.

We are all grouped and waited for the bus then waited for our rooms then waited for orientation.

Everybody is beat.

It should go faster but even if it doesn't I am juts so happy to be away from Colette.

Tonya and I are in the same group. That's good!

Dinner was fun!  I sat with Tonya and Samantha. Everybody has been sitting around chatting about their summer.

I feel cheated because everybody else had help with French.  Some people had as hard a time staying as I did too.  Fred said I could call him and had my house changed but ??  I guess I can look back and say it was good but I miss--- no I'm mad  because I didn't pick up French.  i really wish I had a real family.  I am so upset that I didn't get a true french experience.  Oh well.
Bon Soir.

08/24/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Last day at Colette's!

I can't believe how screwed up my emotions are.  I am always on the verge of tears.  I still have 24 hours to kill here and then another 30-36 at orientation.  I just want to go home.

I organized all my things and packed all my hanging clothes except what I'm gonna wear until Wednesday.  I have only 1F so I hope I don't need money before I get home.  I am hoping to get all my things into 2 bags but I don't know if it is possible.  I still have loads of history to do but I need other books to finish.

Things between Colette and I are tense but ok.  I think she realizes I don't really like her and I don't think she likes me much although we have been holding small conversations today and we are going to a movie.  I want to go home so bad I could just pop.  I think that is why I'm so emotional.  I'm glad I got to spend time with the Dulys.

My French improved lots.  2 people asked me questions at the train station and I understood and answered them.

I'm gonna write a thank you note and leave it up here for her to find after I'm gone.  We raen't going to the movie - oh well. And great news!  Tonya and I are together at orientation!!

By 2 p.m. tomorrow we are supposed to meet.  That means I will be here only until 12! Great!

No details yet and Tonya doesn't know.  I even had a conversations with Md LaPorte and Colette . It was wild.  She understood most of what I was staying.  Colette didn't because she doesn't care but it's ok.  Colette was even laughing at me when I messed up by Md LaPort was patient and kind.  It was neet.

Nothing exciting.  Small conversation.  Wrote music and played solitaire. I'm so excited to go home!

I weigh 143 - more than I've weighed in over a year.  I'm still disgusted but I don't feel fat here.  Last week I really felt good about me. I still do.

Bon Soir

08/22/86 Samedi (Saturday)

Left L'aigle this morning at 8:15.  Everybody was real exhausted from last night but we managed.  We stayed together until lunch at Burger King at around 1.  Then we all split up until 5:30.

Good thing because everyone was really irritable and no one could decide what to do.

Tonya and I wondered around Paris and I bought a sweatshirt and she got a statue.

After we bought a big bag of cookies and coke and we fed the pigeons for an hour.

Everyone met up and we set off for the train.  It was so insane it was almost funny.  Nobody could figure out where to go.  We finally figured it out and we all said Au Revoir 4 kisses and went our separate ways.

I made it back ok and Colette picked me up.

Tonya called around 9:30 to make sure I was back and we figured out I was at the other station than her.  I burst out into tears and have been crying every since.

Colette doesn't understand.  She keeps saying she isn't dead you know but Tonya is my only real friend in France.  I gotta get control of myself.  I am going to get sick if I'm not careful.

I read my millions of letters but I just want to go home. I'm tired of all this. My system is all screwed up. My period is 13 days late. I've never been this late before . I think maybe if I just sleep I'll be ok.  I don't know.  Only 4 days left.  I gotta make it...happily.

08/22/86 Vendredi (Friday) Drove a little car, played games

I have a hard time remembering today.  It went rather quickly but not with much excitement.  We had company for lunch and the children are staying over until tomorrow night.  I drove Francois car again.  Very difficult to shift because the shifter is in the front panel by the steering wheel.

We said goodbye to the grandparents and made spaghetti for dinner.

Accidentally overcooked the noodles so it wasn't very good.  Oh well.

After dinner we went to a bar and sat there and played games (video, pinball) until almost 4 a.m. I am exhausted.  Pierre is a real flirt and Francois thinks I have beautiful eyes. This is nice to hear.

Tomorrow we are going to Paris and then I return to Colette's house.  I am too tired to write more.

Good night.

08/21/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Cold day

Today was the slowest day I've had in a few weeks.  Even the weather seemed to be cold and dreary and slow.  We went to the farm only until after lunch.

We walked up to the store and Tonya bought an Indochime tape (Music group)

We made choco-chip cookies then I took a nap.  I was so tired and yucky feeling. I was freezing until my nap.  I had goosebumps all day.  It was awful. My stomach was messed up again today.

Around 8 I woke up and we got dinner on the table.  Francois is in a bad mood today or something - he didn't talk to us at all.  He made a point of ignoring us.  It was awful.  I gotta figure out what's wrong with him.

Pierre was being more outgoing and wild tonight - I guess since Francois was quiet.

They decided we are all going to Paris on Saturday and I'll go back to Colettes that evening by train.  Should be fun.  My feelings at this point are that I don't want everybody to know all the details of my summer because they wouldn't understand.  I can see now why people say only that there summer was fun and nothing else.  Sharing details only distorts our memory and bores other people. 99% of the people won't care about all the details - They'll just want short details.

Bon Soir

08/20/86 Mercredi (Tuesday) Farm work and water fight

Day 59
Today went so quickly that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.

We went to the farm and there were a bunch of Francois friends there. A couple were from Quebec and spoke English.

Before lunch Tonya and I fed all the animals and gathered the eggs and then got a bucket of potatoes.

The guys came by riding their little race car and on the way back I jumped on for a short ride.

After lunch we all went together in the car to pick a bad full of potatoes.

We drove through the dirt roads really crazy then had potato fights and dirt fights.  I was so dirty that when you touched me anywhere dirt and dust flew.  Then we had a massive water fight. I started it. I threw a glass of water at Francois and I ended up wet from head to toe- dripping wet!  After I changed my shirt we went out and I hot a gun.  I shot only 3X.  I did ok, not great.

We had 12 people for dinner tonight.

At 11:30 we walked down to a disco in town.  It was cool.  In the street and along the sidewalks people were dancing and talking. We stayed up talking until 2:30.

Everybody didn't leave until 1.  I am exhausted.  And freezing.  I haven't been warm since I was soaking wet.  I probably will leave here on Friday or Saturday.

Bon Nuit

08/19/86 Mardi (Monday) Street Market

Went to town to the huge market.  It was really cool.  In the streets for blocks was all kinds of stands with live stock, food, clothes, junk etc.

We walked around for a couple of hours in the rain.  I bought a few things.  We came back and ate lunch at the house then wrote out music and recipes.

Everybody came back from the farm early and then guys got their haircut.  And then their pictures taken.  We stopped at a bar for a little while and came home and sat around.

They had company for a little while.

After dinner (We had shrimp - it's ok) Francois took me for a ride in his little car.  It is so cool.  It has one seat for 2 people and 3 wheels.  We went around the little development here 2X.

We got in trouble last night for being up so late so we are going to bed early.  It is 12 almost.  I decided not to call home because I'm gonna make it.  I really enjoyed being here.  I miss not getting mail but it is easier because I don't have to think about everybody.  I still think of everyone but I don't know what they are up to so I'm not wishing I was there.
Good night
Bon Nuit

08/18/86 Lundi (Monday) Making Crepes and playing silly games

Today we didn't spend much time at the farm.  We fed the animals and took some pictures and ate and by 3 p.m. we left.

We welked into L'aigle and mailed some letters and walked around for about an hour and a half.  Afterwards we learned how to make crepes.  They were really good.

We stayed up until 1:30 tonight laughing and talking.  I am really tired!

We were throwing cigarettes around and trying to get them in Francois and Pierre's mouths.  It was so funny.

I tried escargots (snail) tonight.  They are really good!

I tried to call home and tell everybody not to worry but no one was home.  I might try again tomorrow.

Sometimes I really want to go home and others it is okay.

My French is going down hill.  I think it is because I am too tired to think.  I miss things and people so much and then I don't.  Sometimes I feel like I could stay forever and others I don't think I can make it through the day. My feelings are so confused.

Je t'aime moi no plus - I love it me I don't. It is so true!  Idon't want to say goodbye to everybody.  I juts want to disappear from life here . I hate saying goodbye.  Especially to Colette . I don't know how to be nice when I feel so much dislike for her.  Well 1 week from today will be it!

Bon Soir

8/18/86 Letter from Deanna Laurito to Ralph and Dorothy Davis - David, blessing

08/17/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Playing the Organ, lazy Sunday

Another great day!  We stayed up until 5:30 last night and then got up this morning at 9:30.  We went to the farm.  Only thing we did was care for the rabbits.  The rest of the day we spent basically doing nothing.  I was a little upset because I had to go back to Colettes tomorrow but Babbette made that good.

I don't have to go back until Thursday or Saturday.  That is so good.  We ate dinner out tonight because the family that  has been here since I arrived were leaving today and it was taking forever for them to go so to avoid them we ate out.

Unfortunately they were still here when we got back at 8 p.m.  Shortly after they left.  Babette pulled out here electric organ which is nice and big and we played with it for more than an hour.

The guys came home and Francois, Pierre, Tonya and I played uno and then watched the lightening storm.  Really fun.

We are going to sleep a little earlier tonight - 3 a.m.  We should be in bed I hope!

I am so relieved about not going back to Colettes!  I know prayers are answered because I'm here and I am learning to appreciate French people and the culture and am learning a little French.  I am really glad this is working for the better!
Good Night!
Bon Soir!

08/16/86 Samedi (Saturday) Shopping and learning

Day 55
Ca va

Didin't go to the farm today.  Instead went into town and shopped for special American Dinner!

We spent all afternoon making chocolate chip cookies and hamburgers.  Almost everybody liked them.

The hamburgers were huge.  They had pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup and buns with the meat. I didn't eat all of mine.

After dinner we walked around and talked outside and then played games.  We waited up until 12 or so for the guys to come back from the farm and then we served them dinner.

Francois and Tonya and I stayed up until 4 a.m. learning and speaking in French and English.  It was so fun. I learned all kind of neat little sayings.

Je vais ma coucher - I am going to bed.
Cher embillement an archique de cellules gerbatives en putre faction - means something like deal pile of cells of vomiting puss
Je suis desole - I am sorry
Taisez - vous - Be quiet!  Tais toi also means be quiet
Allez and Vas-y means to go

I also am learning my passe compose avec etre.  It is very difficult.  This is so great! I love this place.  I have only tomorrow and Monday morning and then I have to go back - yuk!

I don't want to. I love it here and I am learning so much.  I'm really glad I had these past few days.  My asthma was really bad today until after dinner when we were walking around and now I feel better except it hurts from the over use yesterday.

They live on Rue Verges which means Orchard Ave!  Neat -- same street as my home address!!

Je vais ma couche! (ahh my bed!)

Bon Soir!

08/15/86 Vendredi (Friday) Working the combine

Ca Va?
Stayed up until 3 last night so getting up this morning was a challenge.  We went to the farm around 12 today so we didn't feed all the animals. Someone else did.

We played with the kittens in the sunshine until lunch.  Chicken from the farm.  It was so good!

After lunch we just walked around until almost 5.  Then we dug potatoes - new experience!  And took bunches of hay and stacked them in rows in piles of 2 /\ /\ /\

We did that for almost 3 hours.  My asthma was set off - I guess by the hay or maybe the dust - but it is awful - I haven't been this sick since I was at Grandma's house and everybody could hear me over the sewing machine - that time I went to the hospital - yuck.  I'm in France - I don't want an Hopital!  I wouldn't understand anything!  I took a double dose of medicine and I sure hope it helps.  Soon!

I really love it here.  This place is so great!  Babett - the mom - speaks real slow for me and repeats things until I get it.  She is so patient and sweet.  And the brothers (Pierre and Francois) also the same way. Not at all like Colette's place.  It is wonderful here and I never want to go back!

I don't miss anything at Colette's house at all! Nothing!  I think France is much nicer now and I realize there are some people who are trustworthy and friendly.  I so love the Dulys and Tonya.  They are great!

Bon Soir
Bon Nuit

08/14/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Enjoying life with a normal French family

Day 53
Ca Va

I can't believe how great life can be . I realize now that there are normal French homes.  I love this family.  Today we got up and drove to their farm.  Tonya and I fed the mouton (sheep) and the lapin (rabits) and headed the chicken outside and held the baby chicks and gathered eggs.

After our lunch of muscles we got a treat of riding moussonreuse-batteuse (combine) around the wheat field for about 1/2 hour.

We walked back up to the house and got buckets and filled 2 up with peas.  Then for 3 hours the 5 of us sat around and shelled the peas.  It was so great.  They talked really slowing and helped lots with my French!  I am having so much fun.  We've stayed up until after 2 talking the second night now.

Francois and Tonya and I sat in the kitchen from 11 - 1 just talking and laughing in English and French.  It is so neat to have a real family.

He thinks (they all think) Colette and that situation is totally crazy and inappropriate!  I want to stay here next week.  This is so great!  I am learning to speak with Tonya's help and everyone elses.  And learning to understand is so neat, to be able to help out and have people to talk with.

Today and last night went so fast!

I just can't believe it.  I don't ever want to go back to Colette's!  Never! French people can be cool and not all evil and corrupt!  I am so glad I am at least getting 5 days!

Bon Soir!

08/13/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) L'Aigle

Ca Va!
After my much needed shower this morning Colette called Tony'a host and arranged for me to come here.  The ride here took an hour and a half.

When we got to L'Aigle we had some difficulty find the house (Colette spazzed out again) but around 5:30 Tonya was found and by 7 they arranged for me to stay here until Monday around 12.  Not sure of plans for going back yet.

This family is so neat!

It is just like home.  They are maknig me speak French - I do Ok.  We made croque - madame and monsiers - for dinner.  5 girls throwing ham and cheese and pineapples and buttering bread and laughing.  It was great.

Then 9 of us sat down to eat.  The 3 guys came home late.

We all sat around the computer and printed out different sayings.

It is 12:30 now.  This is the best day I've had since I last saw Tonya!  I sure wish I lived in a family like this with kids and togetherness etc!  It is so much like my house! L'Aigle is really nice.  Shpping everywhere! Real big town.

Write Later
Bon Soir

08/12/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Liseux

Got up around 9 and ate and dressed quickly.  Then I went on another shopping excursion. I found some mugs that say bonjour for 11F50 so I bouth 6 . Also some candies for inside.  I still want to get 3 cidre and fomage and t-shirts or something for Becky and Ruth.  I'll see how much I have left after that for whoever else.  It is so difficult to get something for everybody cause you always forget somebody!

We ate lunch at a real neat restaurant.  We had salad and ice cream again.  Very good.

Colette is becoming quite a thief - a petty thief.  She stole bread and the menu.

After Liseux - that's where we went today - we went shopping and she ate stuff through the store and never paid for them.  I can't believe it.

Liseux is realyl neat.  I would love to spend time there just shopping.  it is so nice.  We took a train ride and saw all the main points - St Anne's home, cathedral, etc.  Very neat.

I enjoyed today lots.

I either go to Tonya's Thursday or Saturday.  i hope Saturday so I can stay until next Tuesday (A big market will be there).  Then I'll only have 4 or 5 days left at Colette's. Otherwise I'll have 1 week. That is 7 long days! And I don't want to spend any more $ besides necessities and gifts!  I just want to get home fast!

Armand remains a sweetie and I really like staying here.  Of course it is nice.  We'll probably go to the beach tomorrow!! Yea! If not...?

Tonight I watched a polish movie with french captions.  Looks like the plans are Tonya's tomorrow or Thursday until Saturday....???

08/11/86 Lundi (Monday) More Honfleur and Deauville Beach

Ca Va!

Really enjoy staying here.  Everybody is so much more pleasant.  Armand is the sweetest kindest most giving person I have met.  She would give her shirt and shoes and everything for anybody else.  Colette is less of a spazz although when she drives she is still stupid but Armand always watches out for our safety with "Attend!" (Attention)  We (Armand and I) ate breakfast together and then I dressed and ran to the post office.

I walked around through the shops but the ones I wanted to go to were closed so I came back.  Before lunch we walked around a bit and fed the sea gulls then ate a rather short lunch.  Only an hour.  We were going to go to Liseaux butthe weather got nice so we went to Deauville and that's the nice beach.  It was a little chilly for swimming so I just laid in the sand.  Then we walked the boards (no stores but 1 here and there- we came home and made dinner.

It was so relaxing and nice here.  I am still restless for return to home but I can almost tolerate the days and sometimes even enjoy the days here.

I hope to make this vacation last as long as possible so I have to spend as few days at Colette's as possible.

My history is all I worry about there.  I don't even miss not getting my mail because there is usually something else to keep me semi happy.

Dieting is impossible as hard as I try but hopefully this gross appetite will go away when I get home.

08/10/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Another day in Honfleur and enjoying the beach

Ca va!
I am really enjoying being here in Honfleur.  Everything seems to go quicker and smoother and Colette doesn't flip out!

This morning I went for a 1.5 mi walk shopping for gifts for when I go home.  I found a cute little picture frame with a saying on it in French on how to make a good day . It was 60F.  I really like it.

There is a place down the street to get cidre for 3F50.  I want to get 3 or 4 bottles but I'm afraid they'll be too heavy to carry home.

After my shopping excursion we went for lunch at AuOars Normand.  We ate lunch for 2 hours.  It was 435 F which is close to $70!

I ate poisson du filet with Normandie sauce. It was great.  Also vegetables and french fries and apple cider and an apple tart.  No I am not losing weight this way - just passing time.

After pigging out we went to the beach and exposed our flab!  Colette changed clothes right on the beach.  not me.  I found a scummy smelly toilet room and changed.  It is true most people don't wear tops and if they do they are so tiny they might as well not!It was nice.  We spent about 3 hours on the beach.  Don't know what we are doing this evening.  I imagine just watching TV and eating.  Possibly go for a walk.

Eat day brings me closer to getting out of this country.  I can't wait.  I just don't know what to bring back for everybody.

Well enough - I watched a German talking movie translated to French - still no English!

08/09/86 Samedi (Saturday) Trip to Honfleur

Ca Va!
The day passed rather quickly.  Tony'as host mother called this morning and talked with Colette.  They worked it out so that I can stay with them for a few days. An answer to my prayers once again.
We traveled to Honfleur today after lunch.  We ate dinner at the same place we always eat when we are here.  It was nice.  We also had drinks at a cafe before.  I am really tired but relieved to know I will kill a few days at Tonyas.  I'm not sure how long we are here or how long I'll stay at Tonya's but it feels good to be away.

I have got to work on not eating as much.  My pants are so tight!  I did pretty good today.  I ate less at the restaurant then last time.  It was so hard because they eat so slow!  I enjoy eating and running.

I don't know what to bring back for everyone.  It is so difficult.  And who do I bring back for? I cashed my don't touch unless emergency $50 today for my trip back from L'Aigle.  I hope I can make it the week after all this fun.  I'm so glad this worked out.  At least it is supposed to work out!I'll keep praying.  Only thing is now I may miss church.  I wanted to go.  Well we'll see.  No major upsets today.

Colette still can't drive and I don't think she likes me much but that's ok because I don't like her much either.  She is very 2 faced.  Decide too.  And thiefs and they like it . Yuk!

Bon Soir
Bon Nuit

08/08/86 Vendredi (Friday) Bad attitude

Ca Va, pas!
Today the people from church called.  I probably can have a ride only this Sunday we'll be in Honfleur.  I am so upset I'm going crazy.  They think I'm rude here because I don't smile all the time and get thrills from posting pictures together or stealing things.  I don't understand why I was sent here.  What did I do that was so wrong.  I want to go home so bad but I know I'd never forgive myself if I did.

Only 18 more days.  The sad part is that I know there must be some nice normal French people somewhere.  I'm getting an awful feeling for the French people as a whole.

Finished reading my English books today. I feel awful because the more I get to know them the more I dislike them.  It is so awful living with someone you don't care about what happens to them.

Tonya called.  I burst out in tears again.  She said her host mom says I can come stay for 4 days or whatever.  Only thing we gotta work out is Colette and the train.

She was gonna call at 9:30 and she did only Colette didn't answer the phone.  Now I won't know until tomorrow.

I keep getting massive headaches from all the tension here.  I hate it.  I really would go home if I wasn't so stupid.  I just have to finish this.  I keep eating like a pig. I'm going to be so far. I hate me.  I hate everything.

But I really don't.  I just want to be on the other side of the world.  I love people and they love me back.  I'm so glad Tonya is my friend or I'd never make it.  Gotta go watch some movies. Bye now.

08/07/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Shoplifting

Today we went back to the huge store and had lunch.  It wasn't as neat as the first time.  I feel blah after such an exciting week.  I got a package fro home today with recipes and cross-stitch.  I finished the cross-stitch today.  It is really cute.  It has the words bear hugs are in written on it.  I sure need a hug - from someone who cares.  Not anybody here.

It is really cold today.  I was going to work on my history outside but it was too cold and windy for that.  I only have about 2.5 more weeks here and then 2 days orientation.  It sounds like a short amount of time but I dread it so much.  I just want to be home.  I almost started crying while I was making dinner.  I don't care about anyone in France except Tonya and it hurts.  I also feel like they don't like me either.  I don't blame them.

Today they (Decide and Colette) went shopping and a little panda back pack was in the wrong section.  They took off the tags and Decide walked out of the store with it.  It was 119F ($15) and he just stole it.  They thought it was so funny.  I just turned my head away.  What am I supposed to do? People think I'm like them because I live with them.  It is so wrong.  I didn't want to let myself get upset and I am upset again.  I hate myself for having these feelings.  2 weeks isn't much longer.  I just gotta do it.  Happily. Please.

My French is getting worse not better. If I ever come back here (France) I'm going to study some French first or bring books - this is awful.  I feel so bad because everyone is worrying.  I just want out!  I'm gonna cry now.  Alone again.

08/06/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) Paris again - Le Louvre

I feel like I have jet lag again - I am exhausted!  I had such a great day.  I ventured on my own again into Paris and by a small miracle Tonya and I caught up with each other.  Then we walked and walked and walked - right pas the Louvre!  Way past LeLouvre!

We sat down on some church steps and ate our bag lunches and then started back tracking.

Decide saw us and that is amazing!  In all of Paris and we run into each other.  He drank some coke with us while we walked the many blocks back.  Then we went in and he went elsewhere.  It is so big!  We took 1 1/2 hour guided tour and saw all the famous stuff then wandered around for another 1 1/2 hour through the rooms.  It was hot.  And so crowded.  I really enjoyed it though.  After we walked to Notre Dame Cathedral and walked through we were so tired and a long way from the metro.

We finally found the metro and had the wrong tickets.  After awhile we finally got squared away and we hugged and parted.  Sad.  She probably isn't coming over.

Too much to work out but she is gonna try to work it so I can come over to her house.  Who knows?!

Aug 25 I leave here.  2/3 finished this adventure.  I have enjoyed it much recently but I'm going broke quick!  I have only $32 left.  Oh well.  I gotta stop spending for awhile.  I am so tired I can hardly see so Goodnight!

08/05/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Versaille

Today we went to Versaille.  It was really nice.  We went through the huge Chateau and gardens.  Tonya and I talked the whole time.  It was really fun.  After we brought up her coming here and Colette and her discussed everything and I thought it was settled but I guess Colette didn't like whatever they discussed because when we got home she flipped out - she was the one that said about driving to L'Aigle and then she asks me why we have to go there.  no sense.  I would never have asked her to drive there and she flips out after SHE makes the suggestion herself.  i don't understand her at all.  She ruined my whole day.  She was so nasty when she asked me about her coming.  I don't even know what they said So I couldn't defend anything.

Tomorrow I am meeting Tonya in Paris at 11 and we are going to LeLouvre! Neat, huh?!  I don't know if Tonya will come or not.  I guess I'll wait and see what happens.

I got a letter from Terry and Andrea and Brian today.  I have no more air mail envelopes so?  W/b whenever?

I felt really great all week and this little incident has really got me upset.  I was so excited - now it is all falling apart again.  Why?

Every time I start liking it here something ruins it.  This will be the 3rd day in a row that I go to be exhausted.  It is great!  I love it.  I just hope everything works out tomorrow and this weekend.

08/04/86 Lundi (Monday) Paris

I ventured out on my own again!  This time I met Tonya in Paris.  These 2 older guys bought us a drink (coca-cola) and we talked with them until they went back to work.  I got to Paris at one.  3 train transfers!  Luck let me find Tonya in the HUGE station!  I am really enjoying figuring out the system.  Although it is expensive.  I spent my first $100 today which is right on schedule as today was the scheduled day to change my last $50.  (only the banks are closed)

I may go to Versaille sometime this week and Friday Tonya might come here.  I don't know.

After we got rid of those guys we went to McDonald's and walked all around Paris.  We went to LeLouvre and all sorts of neat things.  It was so great just to be out!

We got some chocolate and I was in HEAVEN!

Then we played some more games with the trains and found our way back.  It was so wonderful.

She wants to go to LeLouvre Wednesday and Versaille Thursday but I'm not sure I can afford it - but I think I should go - I don't know.

I finally figured out the train pretty well and with the map I do ok.

Perhaps this is the Lord's way of helping me but I don't know.

I got a letter from Leslie Kunz and Rob.  I figured out all she told me before I got the letter.  I'm glad she wrote though.It is nice to have reassurance.  I guess I really have enjoyed the past week.  I am not sure what do do this week.

Tonya is here and we can do things but I don't know if Colette minds - but I'm only here once - perhaps I should.

Maybe not tomorrow but perhaps Wednesday and Thursday I'll go.  I am really tired!  It is such a great feeling!  Maybe I'll walk and call Tonya so she knows what's going on in my head.

08/03/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Church!

I certainly had an exciting, tiring long day!  I finally made it to church.  It was really difficult to get there! It also takes almost and hour and half with car, train, bus and metro transfers!  Colette drove me to Charles de Galle (train station) at 11:30 and at 11:45 I caught the train to Chatlet Les Halles where I met the missionaries.  They were very nice.  Drake is from Utah and has only 2 weeks left.  Tran is from Colorado and has 13 months left.  He was more talkative of the two.  The third was a mini-mission French dude who I really didn't talk to.

Ater I met them we went to Gare du Nord then caught another train to Nogent then a bus to somewhere else and finally we walked 4-5 blocks to the church.  We arrived about 1 p.m. Church is at 2 p.m.  I played piano for 20 minutes then talked to the sister missionaries and Elder Tran.  I don't reeber their names but they were from California and Montana.

Church was interesting.  A really big building with only about 40 members present.  Everyone is on vacation.  I met no one young except missionaries!  I understood only relief society because we had pictures.

After church the sister missionaries took me back to the train.  There was 3 or 5 transfers before the hookup to Charles de Galle.  On the way back I spoke with a man who is only french speaking!  (Amazing!)

Church wasn't really spiritually uplifting because I didn't understand it but I needed to get out.

We also watched a baptism.  I got home just before 9.  9 hours for 4 hours of church.  Insane.  It was good to get out but I'm not sure if I'll attempt to go again.  It is really confusing and expensive.  I spent 75F ($10.70) on transportation.  I can't afford that!  Well at least I got there once!

I can't believe how well Colette and I have been getting along.  We have really been talking and concerned with each other.  Tonight we watched a movie until 12:45. I am exhausted but my heart is happy.  I am really happy with me.  Even though I am still very much heavier than I wish to be I am happy.  I really don't know when Honfleur is but there is talk of Belgium or Suisse again.  I'm not gonna hope though. Honfleur is all I will look forward to.  The last month is going to be good!  I have to make it good.  The missionaries said that when they stopped writing hoe and counting the days it got easier.  Well maybe I'll stop writing to so many people.  I don't know.  I really enjoy writing letters.  I just had to write how happy I am because lately I have really been content.  I prefer home but with goals and prayer I think I can go home with a good feeling for France.  Sometimes I really hate this place and other times I love it.  I am finally getting better at forming baby sentences and sometimes I can comprehend 3/4 of a sentence.

At the trains someone asked me if I knew where they could catch a certain bus - of course I didn't know but I understood and I answered in French!  He didn't know I don't speak French!  I didn't have to ask him to repeat or tell him I didn't know French!  I am really proud of myself.  I know it is minor but for me it is major.  I guess I better hit the hay.  I am worn out but maybe this is why I'm so happy.  I enjoy being active and out doing thing.  Decide was right.  I should try to go to Paris by myself by train and explore by myself.  Something to think about anyway.  Although a little expensive.  Oh well. We'll see what happens, huh.

Bon soir
Bon nuit

08/02/86 Samedi (Saturday) Lazy Saturday

I got up and started making my breakfast when Colette came in and game me a necklace that says AFS.  (AFS is the name of the program that I came to France with) It is really nice.  I was surprised. (pleasantly!) 

We went shopping and I think we are back to old Saturday nothing. 

She said if I got the address of the church she would go with me.  I'll wait until 9 tonight and then call.  I really want to go.  Collette doesn't like Isabel but she said I could call her if I wanted to do something.  I don't think Isabell likes Colette either.  I wonder if Colette doesn't like me.  Oh well, doesn't matter anyway!

It is chilly today.  I think I'l put on a sweatshirt and go read outside. I didn't sleep good last night and now I'm exhausted!  I'll continue writing later.

My sweatshirt turned into a bathing suit and I roasted in the hot sun until 6 p.m. Colette and I then walked down to the farm and got eggs, milk and cottage cheese.  On the way back we stopped at her friend's house and they talked until after 8.  I have been trying to call church since 8:50 and noone answers the phone.  Colette even said she'd drive me but I have no address.  I am really losing it.  I thought I had it all together but if I don't get a response tonight I am gonna fall apart again. I'm gonna pray and then go down and try again.

Prayers are answered!!!  I'm really going to get to church!!! I called the mission home and talked to Elder Wells who told me to call Elder Drake and Elder Tron.  Thy are going to meet me at the station and give me french books and be my friends! 

I am so glad!  I'm really gonna go to church and have friends now.  My goals are becoming easier.  Praying really works!  I have to thank the Lord again! I'm so happy I could cry1 

From now on I'm gonna try to pray more often for better reasons.  I really am gaining a testimony of prayer!

Bon Soir, Bon Nuit

08/01/86 Vendredi (Friday) Hanging with Jerome

Day 40
Yes, I really  made it to Aout! A month and two weeks has just slipped past me.  I've been reading some of the things I wrote and it is wierd how changeable my feelings are.  One minute I like it, the next I don't!  It is true that I have enjoyed this week even though not much has been happening.

Perhaps I just have to play mind games with myself and make myself enjoy this, ya know? 

We went to Jerome's house and I played ping pone (he won of course) then looked at a book and he gave me some stamps while we listened to music.  It was fun.  It is probably the last I will see him.  In 4 days he leaves.  I even explained something in French and he understood.  It is kind of like a puzzle figuring out how to say things in French.  Sometimes it is fun to play with the puzzle and other times I just want to put it away. 

I have also continued to get along with Colette.  It is nice.  Today is the day I told church I'd be back and still no call. I sure hope they decided to wait until tomorrow and haven't forgotten me.  I sent 8 letters and 2 post cards today.  The $ rate keeps going down so I don't know if it is wise to change my money before it goes down more or wait until it goes back up.  If it goes back up! 

We had another great french pasterie for dinner tonight.  My diet will never work!  I'm staying a steady 62. (136 lbs) 

When we go to Honfleur I'll probably gain even more because it is so great -- the food there I mean!This is awful.  I know exactly where I gained it - my gut and my butt.  Yuk! I feel so gross! 

I got 2 letters today.  Sue Meltzer and Terry Williams -- filled me in on all the latest and greatest in all my favorite places - home, church, work and band.  I guess that's it.  I always make it from one day to the next wondering what will be in the mail. Only problem is I f=get real sad when there is no mail!  Isabel and Patricia came over for 1 hour.  They always make me remember the freedom I had to come and go as I please.  I miss home!

07/31/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Found an American type store

Ca Va? Oui, Ca Va!
Now it really is the last day of July!  Pretty good day too. After breakfast I vacuumed and started some history.  Colette said we were going to a store and out to lunch -- so I grabbed my purse and figured we'd be back by 2.  Well - the store was great!  Like America or something! I loved it!  Automatic doors and huge isles.  We ate in the cafeteria.  It had a squiggly line to the cafeteria like and amusement park.  Colette was totally lots!  I laughed!  They don't usually have those here.  She couldn't believe they had paper napkins!  So for 3 hours I felt like I was at home and Colette felt out of place. 

After we went to see her pony.  Spent a couple hours.  The pony is really pretty.  No major upsets or happenings as of yet.  Just a really nice day. 

Colette and I have even been talking a bit. 

I came home and wrote Simkins and Rob.  I love Mrs S letters.  She always puts in info about home - not stuff that makes me feel homesick and she doesn't ask how's this and that and not tell me how she is.  It is cool.  And I'm never expecting them - they are always a surprise!

My history is really difficult now.  Not only am I tired of doing it but I can't find much of whats left to find!  Oh well.

I'm taking this one day at a time.  Today was really nice.  The weather was chilly!  About 70 degrees and not much sun.  Yesterday was 86, now 70. Insane! 

We made dinner together and watched another great movie with Jane Fonda. 

Then we did dishes together. Amazing.  The two of us talked.  Even at lunch we were talking. 

Tonight I really saw the Eiffle tower and the lights great.  It is so beautiful!  Perhaps praying is really helping.  Things have been good this week. Really good and gone fast.  And I haven't been bored.  Maybe if I keep trying really hard to communicate this will be more fun.  I enjoy having an hour to myself before going to bed to write in my journal, exercise, read the scriptures and fall asleep after praying and listening to my tapes.  It's nice.

Bon Nuit
Bon Soir
Dormi Bien!

07/30/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) Goals set

NO THIS ISN'T
This is it! The last day of July - I am making it!

Today was pretty good. We didn't do much. Got up around 10 and put away all the dishes from last night.  Ate.  Took a batch.  Ate.  Then I cleaned my bedroom real good.  Dusted, Vacuumed under the bed and all the shelves. It was gross!

Decide and I went for about 1.5 hours through the country side and picked wild flowers.

We didn't really talk much.  I guess we were both just thinking.  Then I laid out in the sun for an hour.  Decide left at 5.  Next time he comes we will go to Honfleur.  I can't wait!

I got a letter from Tammy and Jamie. Really cool!

Silly chick didn't even tell me about Utah!

I met 2 girls that are my age that live near here.  Don't you know one of them is leaving for nice tomorrow morning!  I have been praying so hard for something.  I have decided to set goals for this next month.

1 - Make it through this summer and ENJOY it!
2 - Lose weight - 5 lbs to start with
3 - Finish all my history and English to the best of my ability
4 - Continue to read the Book of Mormon and enjoy it - whenever possible
5 - Try to understand and perhaps speak with these people

These goals are rather unspecific but it is better to have room to breath.

Still no luck with Tonya but I wrote a letter.

The last month could be good if I try to enjoy not doing much and continue to get along with Colette. We really have been communicating much better recently.  I've been writing down some words and music for songs and that has helped me to get my mind off things.  I feel good inside - like something great is going to happen.  I hope I'm not just hoping.  I hope something great does happen. I don't know what, just anything.

I really want to be able to go home with a good feeling about this trip.  I keep thinking of all the great things I 'll do when I get back.  Marching band doesn't seem fun anymore.  I prefer work - why?

 This diet things is going to be so hard!  I have to wear a bathing suit soon though!  I did 50 situps and hiney walks and squeezes.  I've got to lose weight!  From our walk today my legs look awful. They are all scratched and yucky.  Oh well.  I can't believe tomorrow is still July!  Is is going fast and slow!

07/29/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Still struggling

I can't believe it's still July.  Every day seems to get slower than the one before it yet they go fast.  Really weird! 

Once again I sat home.  Chapter 25 of history is finished except for one thought question.  I finally go up the nerve to ask about the piano and the priest wasn't there.  Oh well.  At least now she knows I want to play anyway.  We tried calling Tonya but she wasn't home again.  No mail again today. I keep hoping for something.  I haven't written back to everyone that wrote to me because I feel so blah - I don't want them to know it isn't as great as it sounds.

I sure hope Tonya comes and then we go to Normandy.  That will make some time pass quickly.  I really hope something comes thorough with church.  That could make the stay here go really fast but who knows. 

I've been praying every night that something will happen to make this more fun and easier.  I even starting reading the Book of Mormon before I go to sleep once in awhile.  It is more interesting than any of the other books.  I'm trying really hard to finish my history work withing the next two weeks but what if I finish and then have nothing to do - or worse what if I don't finish!  I don't know which is worse!  Either way I'm gonna be upset with myself. 

I sure hope the money system stays the same - I might even be able to come home with $50. I started speaking a little French today.  I mean really saying little sentences and questions and stuff.

Decide says I have a very pretty accent and I should speak more often.  I don't know.

Homesickness was more mild today then in a long time.  I feel sad about my appearance.  I've gained close to 10 lb already.  Somehow I've got to stop eating or I'll be unhappy forever.  My pants are even starting to feel tight.  My stomach is bloated.  It isn't flat anymore!  I hate me!

Bon Soir Bon Nuit Dormi Bien

**After I wrote this we watched a super French movie that was partially in English.  then Decide sang while I played the tiny organ. It was really fun.  Tomorrow we have to do the dishes in the morning.  Also Decide is leaving until maybe 15 days or less.  That means more possible boredom.  Of course Colette and I have been getting along better and she likes some of the things I have cooked recently.

07/28/86 Lundi (Monday) Trying to be optimistic

I stayed up until 2 a.m. or later translating things to say when I called the church office. I had a ral hard time getting to sleep. 

At 6:30 a.m. Doug called just to say hi and see how I was and tell me he loved me and everybody else also loved me and missed me.

Colette was a little upset but it made me feel good. 

I didn't wake up until 11. 

Today I've been feeling a little better.  I tried calling 2X to the church but no answer. 

Tomorrow we are leaving for Holland/Belguim unless it storms.  I don't know if we're going somewhere today.  It is 3.  Also very warm and sunny and nice. 

I can't think because it makes me want to cry and be home.  I can't concentrate on my history.  I've been trying but my mind keeps wondering to hoe and Joe and Rob and everybody at home.

Decide said time was just something you passed in one place or another.  Right now he says I'm playing with time and that I'm here but I'm also very much in America.  How I wish I was all in America.  I'm afraid things will have changed and I won't fit in or something.  I hope this month goes FAST - PLEASE!

I'm afraid of going to Belgium - living in a car? Not understanding Colette. 

I have to finish this history.  Really has been getting to me.  Maybe today I'll try to finish 4 - 8 then I'll be on my way to completion.  That's my goal for today.

I complete my goal for today and some besides!

Colette had an accident so we aren't going to Holland after all.

I got a hold of the church office and thank goodness the lady spoke English.  She said she'd see what they could do.  I told her I wouldn't be here this week so I won't find out anything until Saturday I guess - I don't know. 

I have to find some way to make this easier on myself.  now I'm going full force into finishing my history assignment so if something great comes up I can take party and not worry, ya know?

Perhaps from no on I'll write only a page a day, then I won't have to buy a new book.  One more day down, 32 to do.  I have to do it!

Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
Dormi Bein
Cava? Oui CaVa!

07/27/86 Diamanche (Sunday) Struggling

Today I got up and ate at 9:30.  Colette told me she was going to church so I hurried in a little less than 20 minutes.  I hurried down the stairs just in time to see Colette leave.  Once again, no chruch.  I could just cry.  I got Beccas letter and it said all about everything at church and I want to go so bad.  Why is this so hard?

I am so upset.  I keep eating and eating and I'm going ruin everything.  I worked so hard to lose weight and being here is making me fat.  I'm going to forget how to play piano and flut and I'm never gonna be able to stand and march for 3 hours.  I WANT TO GO HOME!!!Why is this so hard? Why? It as supposed to be fun wasn't it?No - just 'the experience of a lifetime'.  I guess it is definately that.  I hope I never have to do anything like this again.  it wouldn't be so bad with friends.  I'd probably be really great.

I did cry, for over an hour. I walked through the country crying.  Steven the lawyer I met my first Sunday asked if I wanted a ride but silly me said no.  Maybe he wants to be my friend.  After I came home I cried again. I just felt miserable today.  Then I slept a little.  Then I finally pulled myself together so I could be sociable with Colette and Decide.

About 10 while we were eating Jeanette Berry called and we talked for 10 minutes. I managed to stay together and she called my mom.  That's when I fell apart again.  We talked for 1/2 hour.  I wish she wasn't so worried.  I can usually handle myself.  Now I've got the mission home #.  I sure hope I can get to church soon. And meet people.  And stop crying.  This week has been really awful.  I sure home going to Normandy and Holland and Belgium are better than this!  Mom said she is going to send recipes and cross stitch which should arrive Saturday.  Late now, after 1 a.m.

Bon Soir
Bon Nuit
Dormi Bien

07/26/86 Samedi (Saturday) Half-way!

Je t'aime moi non plus!  That means I love you, me I don't.  Great, huh?

I'm gonna say it when I'm confused or when I love something and I hate it - like this trip!  I had a real nice day. Decide and I sat around after breakfast and lunch singing songs from the album Je t'aime noi non plus into the tape recorder.  Mostly love for sale.

Then Colette drove us to Chantilly and we all walked around until 8:00.  Now we'll wait until about 10 for chicken.  We talked a lot about love today.  Also French men.  He says frenchmen are becoming more feminine and creative.  He said he loves everything and is in love with different people in different ways.  Also he says that the French religion is literature, art and music.  French people hate American TV & Reagan and they love American movies.

Decide says I should take longs walks through the country and find a friend and go and discovery Paris.  I think it would be fun but I'm afraid I would get lost and not find my way back.  I really wish I had someone to buddy around with always.

Decide si great but he's only here sometimes, ya know?

I had a great day and now I feel like crying.  I'm so homesick.  In one week we are going somewhere?

Bonsoir
Bonnuit
Dormi Bien!

07/25/86 Vendredi (Friday) Missing home

I think this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life.  Leaving everything that I really loved for something I had no idea what it would be like.  I think before I left I was one of the happiest people in the world.  Everything was going my way.  I'm not totally unhappy now but I miss not being totally happy.  I miss not being about to get up early and see my friends.  I miss working and marching and driving and freedom and talking and understanding and Joe.  Especially Joe.  Even though I wouldn't have him even if I was home. I am feeling sort of locked up inside myself.  I'm becoming a book work again.  Escaping reality by constant studying. 

I think it is good because I do have lots of work to do but bad because I'm withdrawing from life.  It is so hard not to be able to explain what you want or need or anything and not being able to understand what others expect of you.  I think the next month will be more difficult than the first because I've already discovered the patters and everything isn't new and exciting anymore.  I hope I'm wrong, I really do. 

After lunch Decide came back and then these 2 guys came over and then Isabella - I met her before - until 4 or so.  Everybody sat around talking and then isabella asked if I would like to go shopping with her.  She is 20 and very nice. After shopping we listened to music at her house (which is only about 1/2 or 1K away) maybe another time we will listen to music because it is getting late.  Maybe I have a friend here afterall!

Decide and I will probably stay up until 1 watching TV and talking again because another great film is on tonight!

07/24/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Post office and hoping to see Tonya

Went to the post office again today.  Another 17 F.  I've sent almost $20 in mail and it is only half over on Saturday!  All my pens are going bad and my pencils are dull.

We took a ride today to see her friend and she wasn't there.  On the way back Colette totally flipped out at everything - including me!

I wanted to go home so bad.  I still do.  But Tonya called and I feel a little better.  I talked with Colette and I still don't know when we are going to Holland but I found out we are going back to Honfleur! Yea!  And on the way back we can pick up Tonya and she can stay here for a couple of days.  Super cool! I love Honfleur and I really want to see Tonya!

I was looking at all the dates and although we will spend some time traveling there is still a lot of time for bad weeks like this one!  Maybe Julien will come back in between our trips.  I sure hope someone does. Anyone! Please!

Bonsoir
Bon Nuit
Dormi Bien

07/23/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) Future hopes for life

I did absolutely nothig today.  Well - ok, a little. 

I finished up some history and started the second half of chapter 24. No mail today.  I guess 4 letters yesterday, what do I expect? I don't know.

I sat in the sun all day and thought about things.  Especially Joe.  I really love him I think but we are so different.  I'm not sure he would want the kind of life I want.  I have to wonder if I really know what I want.  I want a temple marriage and lots of kids in a happy loving home.  It doesn't matter how big the house is just so there is love and happiness. Forever!

Bonsoir
BonNuit
Dorm Bien

07/22/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Letters from home

I didn't go anywhere but shopping today.  I didn't want to.

As I was eating Collete handed me 3 letters.  I was so happy!  One from Grams and Gramps, Rob and Linda.

Well I opened Linda's first because I knew what the others said.  Inside Lindas was a note from Joe.  Before I read Linda's I opened Joes. It was real short but it said everything I needed to hear.  I cried all day today. He said he loves me - I love him too.  I think I have been trying to ignore my feelings but I can't.  I really love him.  Of course we couldn't ever have a life together unless he cahnged but maybe that is possible.  I wrote him back that I love him and perhaps if some things changed we could be together again.

Also filled him in on life here.

I also wrote Rob that he should forget me -  I can't keep pretending - not pretending but I can never love him the way I love Joe. I think he'll be upset but I have to get all this straightened out before I get back. 

I sent off 3 letter today and then wrote 4 more.  Now I've got to go to the post office again.  But these don't need mailed immediately.

My stomach is still messed up.  I fed my hamburg to the dogs.  They are good for something.  Maybe it is just because I've been upset.  I don't know.

I sure wish Decide was here to talk to.

I've got to get out of this awful depression.  It is really making me homesick.  Although going home wouldn't get me to Joe anyway.

Maybe I'm just stupid for loving him - 4 years ia a very long time!  Can it last so long?

07/21/86 Lundi (Monday) Vaux Le Vicomte

Got a letter from Terry! I enjoyed it! Made me think of all the fun we had before I left.  I miss her! And Tammy!

We went to see the Vaux Le Vicomte - a big castle with beautiful gardens and an equestrial garage.  Really nice.  It was 32 F and we spent the entire day there.  All the ceilings had picture/paintings and all the walls - I would LOVE to live there - this is the first castle I've liked!  It belonged to Napolean or Luis XVI -- I forget!  I'll look later!  It was beautiful though!

And the ladies dresses were long and full.  I love them!  I wish they were still in fashion now!

Everyone thinks my manners and the way I carry myself are very proper - they say pink is definately like me.  It's kind of funny and nice.  The priest calls me a jaunty jeual?  -- pretty young girl -- every time I see him.  It's nice!

I really have been feeling lousy!  I can't shake whatever it is - it is milder now - today anyway!

Real tired and homesick Good night; Bonsoir; Bon Nuit; Dormi Bien

**I spoke un petit peu (very)!) francais today and Jerome even understood a little!  He leaves Aout 5 (August 5) for England so we exchanged addresses today.

07/20/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Reflection

3X more - don't know why!  It's awful.

I slept late so we have no chance of going to church.  I'm so mad at myself - I really wanted to go!

Last night I dreamed I had to go home right away and I didn't want to.  When I got home I hated it and wanted to come back.  Weird. Maybe I do like it here.

I called home at 1:30 p.m. here -- about 7:30 a.m. there.  I figured they would be getting ready for church.  I was right.  One minute goes so quickly.  I just said hi and gave my # then it was over.  I didn't even cry!  Amazing.  I guess I'm finally in the routine but I sure wish there was more action!

Went to Jacques Andre Musee today.  It was really nice.  We saw all the room in the restore house except bedrooms.  It was so huge!

On the way home we picked up pastries!  Yum! I am really getting fat!  I was working on my history in the sun laying down and Collette put on the hose. It leaked down the patio and ALL OVER EVERYTHING! except, luckily my finished work!

I've been thinking about things all day - I guess that the house I'm in and the people I've met aren't necessarily the "norm" for France.  I have gotten to know the artists - like the ones you read about - never discovered until they are gone - weird lives - different ideas - outcasts of community. 

Colette's husband was an artist and there is a whole room of art waiting to be discovered.

Decide even said himself that he knew what he was doing was good and different -but he didn't know how to sell himself.  Maybe that is why it is so difficult to be an artist, writer or anything that takes great talent and something to sell.  It is unlikely that under any other circumstances I would have gotten to know them - I mean -- really know them -- their feelings, fears and happiness and be accepted.  They have taught me things about me that I never would have thought of.  And about the world. And people.  Rejection - Acceptance and true love of somethings you do even though noone else seems to like it.

Noone will ever understand what I've experienced and learned unless they also experience and learn in a similar way.

I think people are the same - different practices and customs, but the important stuff - the love - I think no matter where you went you'd find people like them and like me and like anyone else.  It doesn't really matter that they eat lunch and dinner for over an hour each and their toilets flush funny and they don't all wear deodorant or anything else that is different because at heart people are all the same - some good, some bad but all people!  I don't even know if I understand all this but it is true and I'm lad I got to know them and me!

07/19/86 Samedi (Saturday) Pierrefond Le Chateau and fighting sickness

My stomach is feeling better.  I was sick only 2X more during the night.  Of course how could I get sick - nothing else left in my belly to get rid of!

It is so stupid to get up early here.  They stay up until 11 or 12 or 1 and then stay in bed until 10 or later.  I have the hardest time sitting around watching TV I don't understand so I either sleep 10 to 10 or else get up early and have to be real quiet and wait until Collette gets up to take my bath.  Yuk either way!  I miss camp!

Today we went to see Pierrefond Le Chateau.  A huge castle.  It was okay.  I wouldn't want to live in any castles I've seen here though - HUGE PLAIN and COLD.  YUK!

I am still getting sick.  3X more today.  Just a few minutes ago.  Gross! I'm not sure what from.  Oh well.  College wants me to go to the dr's.  She doesn't even know I've been getting sick - she thinks I've got a cold and asthma!

Today was pretty good.  I got a letter from Karen and Andrea!  Made my day even better!

Hopefully tomorrow we'll go to church.  Je ne sais pas!

Nothing new - Market, pharmacy, no hamburgers today or last night!!!!  (But 3 or 4 in the fridge -- vomit!)

Bonsoir - bonnnuit
dormi bien!

07/18/86 Vendredi (Friday) Sick day and trying to learn French

I spent most of the day sleeping.  In the morning we went to the post office and took that guy (Claude) to a place for a job.  He didn't get it.  I skipped lunch because my stomach was upset.  I got sick only 2X.  My head has been pounding and I get dizzy if I stand up too quickly.  I went down to the telephone and tried to call mom only it doesn't take 10F pieces so I didn't have enough.  I guess I really shouldn't call anyway.  I'll want to go home.

After my short walk my asthma started up - figures huh?  For diner I had a peach and mashed potatoes (boxed kind).  I think I may turn in early so I can feel better tomorrow.

Colette is trying to help me learn french.  She says things in French and if I don't get it she say it in English...slowly even!  I'm really gonna try to get this.  I sure wish mom would send my books and some recipes though.  Next Saturday this is half over - weird!  I don't think this diary will last!
Bon Soir

07/17/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Visting Jerome and frustrated with learning French

Relaxed day today.  It was really nice and sunny so I sat on the patio and read after lunch until 3 p.m. It was really nice.  We went to Jeromes and they talked until 6:30.  I was so bored.  I enjoyed reading much more.  We went to the grocery store and tried some other things trying to find cottage cheese.  Getting closer - I now have ricotta cheese - I like it the same as cottage cheese is ok.

I think Colette is getting frustrated because my French is so bad.  I would probably do ok but I can't stand trying to talk with her.  She mumbles and talks real fast - I get SO FRUSTRATED - so instead I ignore her.

I was listening to them talk for a little while and I understood lots of it - I was surprised.  Then I got frustrated so I started day dreaming.  I really am confused about things.  I can't believe it's almost a month already!  Some days go so quickly and others...

I really want to play piano.  I'm going to read a french book that Julien said was good since I've got time on my hands and I'm bored with history.

Bonsoir!

07/16/86 Mercredi (Wednesday) Meeting new people, dishes and a piano

I really miss those guys! They made everything so exciting - something different all the time and good food too! Now I'm back to hamburgers! Yuk.

I met another of Colett's friends today.  She had a neighbor who was 25.  Once again within 10 minutes of talking he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend here or at home etc.  What is it with these guys? He wasn't even French!  He was from Pakastan.  He was nice but a little too much -- know it all.  I will see him again Friday- Yuk!

Tomorrow we aren't going to Paris - too hot.  Instead we are going to Jeromes.

I don't remember if I wrote this in here before but I do the dishes everyday.  It isn't so bad though because it is usually only 2 or 3 or us.

I found a piano today.  It is only 2.5 miles away.  It is in a nursing home where we went to church.  Unfortunately I had no music but Collette said we can go back sometime.  The father is really nice.  He says I am welcome to play! Super!

Maybe the next 10 days won't be so bad!

I can't stop thinking about Jillian and the things he said.  Why do they make sense?  He really has made me think. Maybe I just like him or something.  It's weird! Bonsoir

07/15/86 Mardi (Tuesday) Educated by a different bunch of people, question life

I finally woke up at 12:45 -- wooh - late!  Today was kind of laid back and nice.  We went for another walk today.  We walked through the wheat field, smelled stuff, ate wild fruits, had an apple fight, lounged out in a cow field and headed back.  We got home around 6 p.m.

Jillian and I talked again in Decide's room for another hour or so.  He is very nice and I'm really shocked at how polite they are to the kind of life they live.

Jullian is 23 and has no home.  He just lives in empty homes with friends (squatter) and steals what he needs.  How can he do that and be such a kind and gentle polite person?

We te dinner around 9 until 10 then everybody packed up and we rode to the train station.  I am so upset. I really like them.  They are so different.  After our walk they were hot so they all stripped naked and went in the sprinkler.  Then they sat around drinking for awhile.  So weird!

I kissed them all good bye and they said they would surprise me sometime and drop by.  Probably won't see them for a month because in 10 days I leave for Holland for a week.  For the next 10 days I will be alone with Collette.  What will I don? I have finally gotten used to staying up until morning, sleeping until 2.  Walking 2 hours and eating really late dinners.  I like it.  Oh well.  In 2 days I will go to Paris and see that guy and his mom.  (At least I think that is what's doing!)  Je ne sais pas!

I'm a little confused about things after talking with Julien.  He made everything sound like it was supposed to be unstructured and free and you should give and receive pleasure because it was right.  He said if I couldn't explain why not than I didn't really believe - Maybe I'm not a good Mormon, maybe I'm a clone.

07/14/86 Lundi (Monday) Waking up to a naked dude...awkward!

I spent most of today trying to recuperate from last night!  My allergies are real bad again.

For diner we had a real neat platter.  In the center of the table was a plate with sausage type meat, tomatoes and leave.  Everybody had a knife and fork and took what they wanted.  Bread was on the side.

Tonight is also national fest but I don't know what is going on yet.  They may all leave me here.  I don't know. If they do I'll go to the village party alone.  I know a few guys.

Nobody left.  They waited for midnight to eat and then sat around outside singing and talking until 2:30 a.m. Two more guys came to stay over.  Julian, Cami's brother and Etienne.  Julienne and I talked for an hour.  He hates government and religion so it was interesting!  He was also kaing his moves.

I don't know what it is with these French guys.  He is real nice though.  Radster type - shaved sides etc.

It is almost 4 and I don't see much possibility for sleep soon!

I woke up at 6:45 to find Jullian sitting by my bed looking at me.  He was naked. His little bed was next to mine and he started licking me.  I told him I wasn't interested and he couldn't understand.  Oh well.  He also didn't understand why I wore PJ's etc so I think he was hurt but what's a person to do?  I'm not sleeping with every French guy that makes a move -- or ANY French guy as far as that goes!

07/13/86 Dimanche (Sunday) Strange encounter leads to 15 K walk home

Started out as being a really lousy day - in fact the whole day was lousy!

I studied until lunch and then Decide, Cami and Stephen and I went for a walk. Which was also lousy!

Sometime between 6 and now though, all that changed.

Around 9 when we were about to eat some of Colette's friends dropped by.  They have a boy my age.  They stayed until 11 and invited me to come see them in Paris - which was great - he seems very nice!  So for dinner I was in a good mood and we ate until 12:30 then went down the street to the center of the village to join the National Fete (party)!

It was really great.  everyone was very happy (drunk) and some guy who spoke know English was telling everyone to tell me he loved me and wanted me to come with him for a walk.  Smashed as he was I gladly declined.  About 2:30 the party broke up and we realized we had forgotten to pickup their friend at the train.  So we hurried back to the party.  Some of her (Cami's friends) were there and they were too drunk to drive.  So I drove 7 of us (a no, no!) well, half way to the train but then the owner decided we couldn't use the car anymore.

Stephen got me a flag of France while we waited for the drunks to hobble inside.  Then we crashed an all block party and Cami bummed a ride to the station - only the driver wanted something in return - unfortunately that was me! Well when he stopped the care and we weren't at the train station - or anywhere near it and he started making his moves -- I got out.  Of course he also followed.  We fought a little (his ring came off in the process) and then he returned to the car.  This is at about 5 a.m. He drove us to the station only to find their friend wasn't there anymore.  He decided he was too tired to drive anymore and parked the car. 

I was tired of waiting so I walked the 15K home.  We all met up about 1/2K from home and returned at 8:30 a.m. We were out all night! Totally crazy!  I still have the flag and the ring to show for it.

We had breakfast and then headed to bed. 

I got a chance to meet 4 of the guys who live around here.  I don't know any girls still.  (Well Cami but she lives somewhere else)

1 girl and 7 guys = weird!

07/12/86 Samedi (Saturday) Fromage blanc is not cottage cheese

I finally got up the nerve to ask for cottage cheese.  Of course it has a different name in French.  I described it to Decide and he said to ask for fromage blanc.  Well I asked but I got sour cream not cottage cheese.  Now I've got a whole container of sour cream and no chips and I still don't know the name for cottage cheese!

Regular Saturday - we went to the market then I did History all day.  Took a walk around 2.  Pretty nice out.  Sunny and mild.  I guess the cold wave is over.  So is the great fun of Normandy.  I miss Armenda already.  She is so sweet!  Maybe we'll go back.  I sure would enjoy that - especially if it was beach weather!

It is so strange - I can't get used to eating dinner at 8 p.m.  I am always hungry around 5 or 6.

I feel very much like I am being held up in a bottle.  The "real me" could never spend all day doing history and not mind too much.  I could never sit around all day everyday (minus afternoons) and only watch tv, eat and read and do history.  It just isn't me.  I prefer the busy non-stop action life - I think I am safely settle and I might even enjoy this - but the person everybody at home knows isn't all here - cause if I was I'd go crazy!  There really isn't anyone my age.  I walked around and everyone is real old or little kids. Monday is the revolution day.  What will I do?

Another little hash party last night - this time at 2 a.. with three people.  My asthma had been giving me trouble to start with but after that - I was in pain all night and I still am.  I took medicine but so far it hasn't helped at all.  I think they were upset because I wouldn't come out and talk with them but I was wheezing so loud I could hardly breathe let alone talk.  I still get very dizzy when I stand up and I sound absolutely awful.

07/11/86 Vendredi (Friday) Good bye to Honfleur

Busy and fun week has come to an end.  After lunch at the same restaurant we said good-bey to Armenda Roland and Honfleur and headed back home.

I am sad to leave Armenda.  I really like her.  She is a super cool lady.  We exchanged addresses so perhaps we will keep in touch.

We had to go shopping for dinner.  I got a big letter from home and a letter from Rob.  I really enjoyed reading them.  I wrote back.  It took me until 10:30.

Decide and I are staying up watching some movie.

Bonsoir!

07/10/86 Jeudi (Thursday) Beach and Chinese Food in Trouville

I finally made it to the real beach - with sand, boardwalk and water.  And it RAINED! And it was FREEZING!  So we walked the boards in the rain.  I love it!

When we were so cold and wet that we couldn't stand it anymore we went back to the car. 

And then something so amazing and unbelievable happened - I ate Chinese Food!  Not just the side stuff for people who don't like Chinese - but real Chinese menu food.  I had little ravioli noodles w/who knows what inside as an appetizer and then chicken and veggies in curry.  Also rice dessert was the greatest.  I had apple something and it was little apple rings with crepes or something on top.  Yum!

After lunch we walked all through Trouville.  We saw an aquarium then went to Cote de Grace.  It is a neat little cathedral church. Had dinner here - Pizza! And watched TV again.

Reeally great day (would have been great to go swimming but...)

Picked up some hitchers today from Holland who are touring France by hitchhiking around -- Cool!!!
Bonsoir

07/09/86 Mecredi (Wednesday) St. Michael Monestary

We traveled to St. Michael Monestary this morning.  It took us 5.5 hours because they kept getting lost.  St. Michael is a very big castle like city built up in the middle of where the ocean usually is.  It was low tide so there wasn't much water - but sometimes you can only get there by boat.  It was rally neat!  I enjoyed today! The ride back was quicker 2h45m.  Then we ate at the same restaurant again

Oh - Mom - guess what - I ate fish soup.  ME - Amazing?!  Also prune jelly, hot chocolate, cherries, apple cider, dog food (patre) - I tried oysters - yuck!  They are amazed that I don't like sea food - that's why I always have hamburger.  She thinks it is all I eat.  I have to find out if they have cottage cheese here! I am really getting fat!  We have eaten out so much this week.  It is great food but I'm not gonna fit in my pants soon!

They park on the sidewalks here.  It is already 10:30 and I wasn't bored at all today.  Amazing.
Bonsoir

07/07/86 Lundi in Honflour

Today was the best day I have had since I left - except for maybe the last day of orientation. 

We traveled to Normandie today to Honflour.  It was a trip in itself.  Colette got lost again and was flipping out as usual.  Then she decided to beat the system and she went on the highway the wrong way.  I was praying big time that she would figure out what she was doing before we became dead meat.  All the cars were flashing their lights and she finally realized what she had done.

I found out she has a soft spot for more than just animals - she always picks up hitch-hikers.  Today we picked up two.  They were a little hesitant about getting in because we had the funeral car and you can't see until you are in!

Honflour is great!  I love it.  It is so beautiful.  It is a very old town and we are right by the harbor. There are ships everywhere.  The little village has lots of shops, cafes, museums and churches.  I would love to stay here! 

Her friend is very nice.  We walked around for about 2.5 hours through the town and then we had drinks in one of the cafes and dinner in this cute little restaurant.  It was crepes.  I had apple and eggs/gambon - very good!  For dessert I had mysterie chantilly - It is the greatest ice cream dish w/whip top!  I could eat it forever!

It seems as though all Colette's friends are single. Either divorced/died/bachelor.  Interesting. 

No windows here have screens.  It is so strange.  I thought it was just Colette's town but it seems to be a lot of France has no screens.

Tonight we are watching Far West '89.  Another American film.  Pretty good.

I thnk if I wasn't so afraid of messing up French I would speak ok.  Instead I don't speak at all.

We will be here for 4 days.  i found that out when Colette began ironing -- everything. Usually she only irons one outfit at a time.  So I decided to ask how long we would be in Honflour.  I love it!

07/06/86 Attended Mass

     I went to church today - well kind of -- it was a mass held in the retirement home over in the next village.  It was really neat.  There was 2 young boys (9 - 10), myself, Colette, 4 other ladies and the priest.  It was a nice service. Personal.  Seems strange, there are thousands of cathedrals and they meet in a tiny room in a nursing home.  I liked it.  Even though I didn't understand it. 

     Decide came today.  After lunch we played cards and then everybody kind of did their own thing.  I've been reading and writing my brains out in history.  I am determined to get this done.  It is very difficult because many of the questions aren't in either of my books.  So I just do what I can.

     I have gained weight and I feel so awful about myself.  I don't have the same happy appearance as I used to.  Sometimes it is so hard to smile!  All I ever do when we aren't out is eat and dream.  2 weeks.  Only 7 weeks left.

     I forgot to mention that Colette has a maid who comes every Monday.  I think there is a pattern developing here:
Monday - maid/whatever
Tuesday - Friday - wahtever
Sat/Sun - Market, Decide, Church

Not too bad I guess.  Tomorrow our "whatever" is Normandie.  Should be nice.  I'm not exactly sure what we are doing yet -- guess I'll find out! Bon Soir!

7/5/86 Samedi Favorite sayings of Collette

7/5/86 Samedi

Today we went to the post office and the market.  I sent another 6 letters and 6 postcards (40F)  From now on I will only write when I get letters.

Today Sue sent me a letter.  Of course she wasn't one of the people I wrote to because she knows everybody I wrote, oh well.  Another letter to write.

Today was a real lazy day.  Didn't do much.  Read chapter 22 for History and started the questions.  They have nothing to do with the chapter as far as I can see!

Some of Colette's favorite sayings are:

Oh..la..la..
Ca Suffit!  (That's enough!)
Qu'est que fait?  What are you doing?
Impossible

When she is talking to the dogs.

I still don't know all their names.  Coca - cutest most loveable smelliest thing I ever met.
Tessibu - not sure which one she is.
Misty Gris - cat - always up in my room, cleanest animal she has
Zorro - oldest dog

Sometimes I think I could really like it here and then something comes on TV or a name of someone I care about is said or written somewhere and I just want them here now and I want to cry.

I think it's getting easier but I'm not sure.

It is awful, every day I have the same things for lunch and dinner.  Hamburg and french fries or peas or something but always Hamburger.

I really love the cheeses here.  They are so good.  With bread!  oh la la tres bien!  I miss my chocolate!

7/4/86 Independence Day!

7/4/86
Independence Day and I missed it!  At this very minute everyone is probably just finished the 2nd parade and is going on to party.

I spent the day in Paris.  We went to a really big mall with museums and things in it.  A modern art type building.  Outside people were all over the town sitting and shopping, drawing caricatures and playing instruments.  It was really neat!

We walked through the very crowded streets to Notre Dam Cathedral.  I wasn't impressed.  Many of the other cathedrals were much more beautiful and a lot less crowded!  Then we walked some more and saw a Monastery of Jerusalem -- really pretty and then finally the National Archives.

It took an hour and a half to get home because of all the traffic. 

It was a nice day out.

We finally got hot water again!

07/03/86 Missing home and sight seeing

07/03/86 Thursday

I think I've learned to tolerate some things.  Since last Friday we've had no hot water and I've been taking COLD baths (no showers here!).

Musee Jacques Andre

Also I think I might like animals except all the dogs here smell SO gross! Also they have fleas!  There is one cat here that is ok.  He looks like mittens only he doesn't have white paws.  He is pretty clean too.

I have got to meet some people my age or I'll go crazy!  I can't stand not going out and going things for a whole summer.  I'll go nuts!

I miss home so much!

I guess I shouldn't complain.  I do have a nice house and Colette is nice but when I think of what I gave up I want it all back.  I loved my job, marching band, church, Rob, driving, freedom, understanding what people said, Mom, Dad, Becky, Ruth....EVERYTHING!!!

Senlis Cathedral

If I had some real friends here I would enjoy this A LOT MORE.

Today we went and saw a real big castle (Musee Jacques Andre) only we couldn't get in because it was closed.  It was real neat.  After that we drove to the Senlis Cathedral and walked around in there. It was very pretty.  On the way to Chantille we picked up a hitch-hiker also going there.  We went to the Parc du Chateau gardens. They are very big but also plain looking.  They weren't worth 12F it cost to get in.

Chateau du Grand Jardin

We then went to the Eqestrian Museum of Chantily (horses).  We spent a few hours walking through and seeing the horses.  It was neat. I enjoyed that.  It was rather expensive - the reduced rate was 25F.  I can't afford all these expensive places in one week!

Tomorrow I think we are going to Paris or Versaille.  I can't be sure.  Maybe we aren't going anywhere!

Equestrian Museum of Chantilly

After dinner I went for a jog/walk around the village.  It is very hilly so I jogged down the hills and walked up the hills.  It felt good.  This is the 2nd time I've gone.  Except this time I went further and this time I'm wheezing!

If I keep eating the fattening hamburgers and bread all the time I'm going to come home fat -- and have fleas too!  No one will love me then!

I keep hoping I'll meet someone my age - walking around or whatever - but it seems there is no one.

Inside Equestrian Museum of Chantilly

I wish there was a Mormon church, they'd have activities.  Maybe I'll go catholic for the summer, or protestant.  I don't like not going to church at all.  It might become a habit!

I am so homesick I just want to cry!  Tomorrow is the day of all the big parades and parties and everything and I'm going to miss it.  And when it happens here I will have no friends to spend it with!

I knew I loved my life at home but I never knew how much!  I am ALWAYS thinking about it!!! (that's not good.  I need friends!)